Miss my dad

I lost my Dad in September when he shouldn’t have died, he loved life and soo wanted to live. He moved in with me in 2008 when we lost mam so everything reminds me of him. Every night he used to say "I’m off to bed now love, night night, love you…cu in the morning…im heartbroken. I work till 10pm and he always had a cuppa ready and we’d watch soaps together. We both love horse racing and went to many meetings but since he went i dont really watch it at all its just not the same. I break into tears at the stupidest of things, dint go out of house if not at work. When i close my eyes all i see is my dad teying soo hard to keep his jaw up as he was dying…im in tears writing this now, he wasgoing to be my sons best man in June so this day is going to be soo difficult to get thru…my son still bought him his designer matching suit which dad wore on his final journey! People say he was a good age but to be honest no age is!! If there hadnt been so many doctors strikes going on my dad would be here as the waiting list just got longer n longer…what happend to the caring of people obviously money vomes 1st!!

Thanks fo listening

Sierra x

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:broken_heart: I have no words as going thru the same

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I am soo sorry for your loss. It is hard for other to realise just how much pain goes with loosing someone so close to you.
I lost my Mum in August and have been to places so dark and sad I could never have imagined.
Nothing makes this better but knowing it is normal and other do share your pain does make it a little easier to bear. Jus the kind to yourself and allow yourself X

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I lived with my dad as well and I can relate so much. You’re right, it doesn’t matter what age they are. It’s just miserable and I’m miserable and I’m so sorry you have to go through the same thing. :heart:

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Its just so hard isnt it and lonely. Ive tried to set myself a target of April to sort out dads things but its heartbreaking but need to do it or theyll be there till i go! I will be keeping his favourites x

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Every day is like torture. :pleading_face: I haven’t even begun to think about sorting things yet, you’re ahead of me there. But there’s nothing wrong with keeping them either, whatever gets us through. Here if you need to chat, just message me.

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Thank you, you can message me too. I find it harder with my dads things than i did with my mums as we had to sort her things as dad came to live with me, i keep her favourite jumper in my wardrobe and i was very strong as had to get my dad through it…now ive no one which makes it much much harder x

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This brought me to tears @Sierra. I’m sorry about your dear father. Like you, i see mine as soon as I wake and as I try to sleep. I get triggered during the day for little things. Its so hard and your in my thoughts.

My dad died 3 weeks ago tomorrow. Its so raw and I’m in shock. I have very little interest in most things. I just want him to say ‘I love you kid’.

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Breaks my heart, reading all this but also good that we’re here for each other & feeling exactly the same :broken_heart: :sob:

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@Sierra I understand. It’s 11 months today since my Dad was called home. I still don’t quite believe it even now. I’m just glad I’m amongst ppl on here that also understand. Best wishes to you. X

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This community is really helpful. Thank you everyone.

This is a picture about grief from Charlie Mackesy. It says it all. (Person who wrote that beautiful book ‘the boy, the mole, the fox and horse’)

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Thank you, sorry for loss. Its really hard for us all. Today a colleague at work was talking about food tasting different to people i told him my dad loved gammon but always said its nice but a bit salty everytime even tho it wasn’t…id give anything to have him say it again :disappointed_relieved:

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Hope things get bit better, take care x

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So sorry for your loss. Its so hard, as your emotions are all over the place. I lost my son just over a year ago, aged 30. Recently ive started to sort our small bedroom , into a memory room. Up to now ive put photo frames of my son with family and friends. Some make me cry and some make me giggle. As it reminds me of things he got up to. Would doing something like this to put your memories of your dad help, if only a little bit. Ive recently started a daily journal of how I’m feeling or doing on that day. Maybe in time, look back on it. Have you thought of counselling?
Sending hugs
X

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So sorry for your loss, im looking at counselling as coping horrendously too with death, im petrified x

Dad always used to cook a curry on a Saturday in winter. I’ve been craving his version so much. And his cottage pie. :cry:

@Ann60

So sorry for the loss of your son. I just can’t imagine what that feels like. Sending a virtual hug :people_hugging: My parents had the privilege of being older. It’s so unfair when the young are taken from us.

A memory room sounds like a wonderful idea. A place to sit and remember. Will this be a mix of pictures and objects? What do you find gives the most comfort?

I want to start a mamorial garden in spring. Again, somewhere I can sit and have a quiet moment. I’ll add some roses and some memorial stones (so expensive to do public memorials). I’m still at the stage where photos everywhere trigger me. I know this will ease in time and I can look with fond memories. I kiss a picture of them both everyday though.

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