I lost my mum in February 2019 and I’m still struggling hugely, possibly even more than I did in those first few horrendous months after her death. On top of losing mum, I’ve had to give up a well-paid job due to a vile bullying boss a few months ago and my brother no longer speaks to me after a massive disagreement I won’t bore you with now. I don’t have a partner and live alone and my closest friend has emigrated to live in the Netherlands. I therefore do feel so terribly alone and lost and can’t ever see me getting any better. I am now wondering if I need to consider counselling? I have never done any kind of talking therapy before so I’m wondering if any of you have had experience of grief therapy and whether it helped you or not? My life feels pointless. My mum and I were so close. I have no motivation for anything and have lost enjoyment in everything I used to enjoy. Feel I’ve become very self absorbed and know I need to do something but can’t imagine anything helping me because I know I can’t change the fact that my amazing mum is gone.
Dear Jazzy, I am very, very sorry for your loss, it would be such painful and lonely to grive alone. I feel with you. Before my loved father died, I thought that people don’t have to go to therapist when they are griving, but now I think (and I will go to an online group), we have to, because we can’t make the other people around sad or helpless, or they just don’t understand us, or they can’t bare the pain, what we hold. I will go to a group and I will search for a person who I can talk with, who understands me and has time to pay attention and who doesn’t want to fix anything, what we couldn’t fix. If you would like to write, I am usually here to write back. Take care of you. I am sending you hugs.
I am sorry to hear you have had so much going on in your life and so many changes. I would urge you to go to counselling. I lost my mum a year ago, it took a few months before the full effects of grief kicked in. I have found counselling a life saver. My grief was overwhelming me, every day was so hard and very lonely. I would question myself and my sanity. It was a safe place to express the good the bad and the ugly emotions but they all needed to be expressed. I am still working with my grief but I am in a better place than I was. I think it’s the best thing you could do. I contacted quite a few, had a few taster calls and picked who in my gut I thought was right for me. Good luck and be kind to yourself
Thank you!!! I think you’re right…… I do need counselling, but have never had it before so feel a bit anxious about it. Life has been very hard in the past 3 years…… I just want to be able to feel happy again but that feels impossible at the moment, when I miss my mum as much as I do.
Thank you so much…. I think you’re right. I’m going to look into counselling as I can’t ever imagine feeling truly happy again.
Try one, and go to another, if you don’t feel, he/she suits for you. The one who really understand, hear and feel you. Send you hugs, and I wish you to be happy again.