Aw … its awful innit ? Its bloody diy ! Well my husband went into hospital end july for 2 weeks but they didnt find his sodding bladder cancer ! Took them until end september to find it by biopsy and by time they fannied about by bloody november said too late ! Had 6 weeks to say goodbye ! 
i think thats why its so hard now … never expected to lose him you see and they just give you false hope ! The NHS is crap and doesn’t value people’s lives !! xx
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I am so sorry. Lost my wife 5 months ago feel the same way.
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Thats really sad 
I took Nick into hospital at xmas… they were happy to give him steroids and send him home!
I refused, god job i did. Nick was stuck on a trolley all night… had multiple seizures and was then put on a ward 
Went downhill from there… nothing they could do anymore x
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Was so different for me the staff at the icu in royal Liverpool hospital were amazing they tried for 3 days everything they could but he had no brain activity my son in law works for NHS in the same icu department where his father in law died so he hasn’t been back since but hes had nothing but support from everybody there all i can say is i was glad we were here when it happened and not abroad but I’ve got nothing but praise from paramedics to consultants and nurses I’m sorry for all your bad experience but i can’t praise royal Liverpool hospital enough
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Now I feel home sick I can picture the Royal, it’s the new one isn’t it, Nick was in icu for two days in Torbay Devon, and yes same here we had 3 ambulance crews at the house, and then on his way to the hossy critical care jumped in, icu Torbay were amazing they also said that as he was starved of oxygen for 15 mins, he would probably have brain damage, it didn’t seem like 15 mins to me! felt like 2, the paramedics had just walked through the door, he answered his name then passed out first. The icu is not a great place to be in with all the machines bleeping all the time, but they were explaining all the time.
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It was Arrowe Park hospital 
when he went to the ward. It had other patients with dementia. Security were putting them back to bed all night.
I sat in a chair next to Nick, worn out and uncomfortable.
Because i was with him, i was left to look after him.
They seem to enjoy doing lots of paperwork more than hands on care.
New years eve was depressing… atleast the nurse put the radio on
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Yes same here because he was starved of oxygen there was no brain activity so really he was already gone on the 16th April but officially the 18th April I’m meeting my dads partner later we lost dad September last year she’s such a strong brave lady my dad met her two years after mum died in 2005 she gave him so much happiness in the last 16 years of his life so i seem to be leaning on her a lot lately as we both understand the torture we both are going through
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It is … and so hard to accept isnt it take care of yourself … youre early days ya know - it gets less painful but it takes time and you go through many stages of grief xx
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Yea Nick was 13th April ,it was the early hours of the 15th April, Hillsborough anniversary they switched his machines off. He also lost his Mum, last August, and January my ex husband found dead, Nick was always there for me he would be broken hearted to think he wasn’t, I have two friends from work, one of them lost her husband age 41 to brain tumour that was 23 years ago, will still talk about him she is a massive help.
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I feel your sadness as I am the same, I am at times surrounded by friends but still feel completely alone. I sit here like most nights on my own just missing my wife every second and think mmm I hope I dream of you tonight and just don’t wake up. I push through as no choice and am off to Glencoe for few days and no matter where I go I speak to Helen and tell her about my day. Sleep well think we’re mostly the same sleeps a thing others do. You’re in my thoughts. 
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This is everything I’m feeling too, my Ju & I were one & now I feel like nothing, no purpose, no drive or motivation whatsoever 
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Totally understand this. You can have friends and people around you but still feel alone. I found the dog helped, made me have to get up and out.
Like you I miss my old life, the little things as you say like having a cuppa or just checking in.
I need to have the radio on all the time now as I can’t stand the silence.
You will get through it, it will never be the same, but it’s so hard. Take care 
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When we read everyone posts you can see that we are all going through mostly the same thing like lack of sleep and lonely amongst other things wouldn’t it feel strange if we did not feel these things? It’s very true what I’ve said before Grief is love with no place to go. Stay safe your all in my thoughts x
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If “Grief is the price we pay for love” then I am certainly going to have a lot of grief as we had so much love 
together
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I am 56 I lost my husband age 65 , on the 15th April suddenly to heart attack his heart was just too damaged and now so is mine .I was Nicks 2nd wife after she ran off with a younger man! And Nick was my 3rd husband 1st one being a womaniser! And the second an alcoholic wife beater (I was on the end of his fist ! ) Nick and I loved each other unconditionally and we were both grateful at last we found each other , it was nice to hear it from a males point on view , cos I would of hated my Nick to of been going through what I am and we are all now , I guess my loss has spared him that ,
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Yeh i suppose we have spared them that at least and someone ssked me how my husband wouldve coped without me ? He wouldnt have … doesnt make it easier though … life is so cruel … people are so cruel … so sick of people who don’t care and only care about themselves ! What an awful world we live in ! They wanna try going through what we been through and they they might have something to moan about !! All these people stressing about one thing and another ! But theyre flipping here arent they !!
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Yes i am going to find it difficult when I return to work on the 10th June, I work for a holiday coaching company so our main age group is the retired (well retired) and when I am going to get the “moans” they have not got the bedroom they wanted" or the seat they wanted for bingo" I am going to find it difficult " well they got to retire and enjoy holidays with their partners" I am 10 years away before I can retire, and my Hubby was 10 months away from retiring !
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Yeh gonna be tough that … let it go in one ear and out the other !! My husband was only 60 …
God bless him … i loved him so much. Married 35 years he was my life x
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Good luck with going back to work @Jane15, especially if it’s with old people. I left a job where I worked (and lived) amongst them last year, crikey, nothing I did was right or good enough, it was soul destroying! I agree, they have so much but nothing makes them happy.
Now I’m back in my own house and the neighbours have young babies. Yes, they wake me early and make a noise in the garden but rather their happy chatter than the old moaners dragging everyone else down!
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