Missing Mum

Its been 11 weeks since my Mum passed away.
I feel like my whole Life has changed since then,things feel like they are going wrong in my personal life with relationships,my job.
The worst thought is that however bad things get i no longer have my Mum to talk to,and that makes my life feel bleak,almost to a point of making me feel panicked😪

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Hi SarahJane60

Sorry for your loss. I read your post and felt for you instantly.
It’s been 5 years since I lost my beloved mum so I wanted to reach out to you as you describe my feelings exactly.
It’s so early days in your grieving process. The main thing I was told was to be kind to myself. It didn’t seem to make sense at the time because nothing does but it took me about 2 years to start to fell less panicky and to start accepting my mum was gone. It’s such a difficult process. I still miss her every day and wish I could talk to her as she was my one true confidant with no judgement. It takes a long time to adjust and I don’t think we ever get used to it, we just cope with it somehow and the pain and panic does dull after time. Do you have a good friend, family member or partner you can talk to? I found I was angry as lots of family seemed to just get on with life as if they had forgotten my mum and my grief but I know that’s not true. People get worried about upsetting us when really we welcome the chance to talk even if it does make us cry, we usually feel a bit better afterwards for a while which helps the healing process over time.
I still sometimes panic I’ll never see mum again but it gets less frequent over time. I remember I used to go out in my car and sit somewhere and just scream. Sounds drastic but that’s what I did. Those feelings do pass I promise you. I tried counselling but was told I needed to wait at least 6 months before starting this as it’s far too early otherwise.
I know you’re feeling desperate and it is all consuming right now but talking regularly with someone can help. It was my sister who eventually said to me that mum gave us life and wouldn’t want us to be so sad, that she would want us to remember her but to try to move forward but this was way down the line. It’s far too soon for you to feel you can even begin to look forward, please give yourself time to go through the grieving process, what you are feeling is normal. It’s a huge unbelievable shock and it’s so soon for you.
Just wanted to reach out to you as I know how you’re feeling and wanted to let you know you’re not alone if you need to chat.

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