My dad was diagnosed with cancer about 18 months ago which was a massive shock and very unexpected. He was doing very well until about 3 months ago when he went downhill fast, he lost half his weight and had horrific symptoms, it was traumatising to watch.
He was so poorly he ended up rushed to hospital and then to the local hospice, where they worked miracles and stabilised him in a couple of days. He wanted to go home to die and they helped us all the way. With support, they gave him an extra month of life and he died pain free and with dignity.
Both my parents had moved in with me 4 years ago due to my mother’s dementia. I never thought my Dad would get cancer and die first! It was the most horrific thing I’ve ever had to see, those 3 months were so hard but I promised him I’d be with him until the end, he wouldn’t be alone and now he’s pain free and at peace but I miss him so much and just want him back.
Looking after my mum now on my own is so hard, it feels impossible to have any time to myself to recover or take time to grieve. He died on the 14th January and his funeral was on the 11th February x
Thank you so much for sharing this with the community I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to let you know that you have been heard and you are not alone.
I’m so sorry what you have been and are going through is so tough. It sounds so difficult trying to look after your mum whilst missing your dad and grieving. If there is any space in your day, can you try to take that time for yourself to grieve or anything else you need to do for yourself. I know that probably every minute of your day is probably spoken for. I wonder if adult social care can help with any day care for mum to give you some breathing space? Just a thought and you may already have that in place. Sending you strength and understanding
It’s very hard at the minute but I have put some carers in place to help. Hopefully I’ll be able to use that time for myself and it’ll get easier. My mum had to go into respite for a few weeks as I couldn’t be in 2 places at once which was very bad for her and then she ended up in hospital for a similar time and unfortunately she came back a changed person so I’m hoping she’ll get a bit easier once she’s settled again, she is also grieving. I will try my best and see how we go, Right now everything seems too hard but hopefully it will improve, thank you for your kind words xx
Hopefully things will settle back down when mum is settled back at home. I was going to mention respire but wasn’t sure how you would feel about it. I know it’s hard so can only advise to take care of yourself as best as you can. And take any opportunity for s break when it comes along take care x
to everyone x
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to let you know that you have been heard and you are not alone.