Missing my dad

Hi I’m new to this site. I lost my dad 2 months ago and been told it gets easier.
I’ve yet to discover that. I cry everyday and my family life and relationship are suffering but I don’t no how to make it right .I was so close to my father visiting him often and not one day went by where I didn’t get a good night txt off of him. Now I have nothing only memories and photos which seem to bring tears. How do people move on losing someone so special and loved

Hi Deej52,

So sorry to hear your lost your Dad. I lost mine too, 11 months ago. It’s a pain that can’t be described. The sadness comes and goes. I had been okay for a few days but yesterday I felt like my chest was full of concrete. I had a good cry and couldn’t stop.

Are you getting support? I had grief counselling at a local hospice which I found really helped. Just focus on getting through each moment and let the tears roll if they come.

As for moving on, I don’t think it’s possible, I think you just expand to accommodate the grief and live with it.

Try to take care of yourself, it is such a huge shock.

Hi Deejay52

I’m sorry to hear about you losing you dad. It is very early days for you so don’t worry about how bad you feel. There will be a way through. X

Daffodil is so right. I don’t think you get over the loss of a loved one. You just learn how to live with that loss as part of who you are.

I lost my beloved dad in May 17 then my mum May 18. It has been truly awful. The one thing I haven’t lost though is the love I still feel for them both and for that I am thankful. Nothing can take that away.

I see grief as being in a storm at sea. Some waves crash over you more than others but eventually you get through (I Hope!).

This forum has really helped me as I can just off load how I am feeling in a safe space. I had counselling too for a while. Anything to let the pain out.

Big hug
Ann xx

Hi Deej,
I’m really sorry for the loss of your beloved dad. I lost my dad 2 years ago & I felt the same as you do now. It broke my heart. I agree with the comments, I found that you don’t move on, you are forever changed. But the loss becomes part of you and eventually your life grows around it. I find myself categorising events in my life now as before dad died & after dad died. The colours were brighter before he died but somehow I feel he is with me still.

I can relate to Daffodil’s analogy of feeling like you have a chest full of concrete. Some days are worse than others. Occasions like his birthday or the anniversary. I try not to plan much on those days in case I need to be alone to cry. I am so glad I kept some of his letters but it took a long time before I could read them or look at photos without breaking down.

I can look back and smile at the happy memories now and this will come to you too I’m sure. Give yourself time. Even though it’s so hard, it’s better to face your emotions now and let them out.

Your dad will always be with you in your heart, nothing can take that away. Be kind to yourself. xx

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