I’m just missing my husband so much. I’m not the person I was.
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Hi@Caroline14. I’m really sorry for your loss. My husband died 3 months ago, and it takes a long time to adjust. You get used to being part of a couple and it’s not easy to accept the huge change in your life. I can’t offer a lot of practical help, but if you have family and friends, accept all the help they offer and tell them how you’re really feeling at any given time. I hope you can, in time, find some sort of peace. xx
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Thank you very much for your very kind and helpful words. My husband actually died 9 1/2 months ago and I still feel so so sad. We had a close loving marriage for all the 58 years.
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I am being wonderfully supported by my children (all in their 50s) and friends but the hollow void in me just doesn’t seem to go. Time they tell me, and I believe it, will soften the unhappiness.
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Hi Caroline, like you my husband of 56 years died suddenly in his sleep 8 months ago. What a huge void is left and, despite the support of a loving family, life is changed, and you really don’t want it to be. I long for my old life with someone putting the right bins out every week. Life was so simple.
You just think that things are easing when you have another down day punctuated by tears. The grief is all the stronger because of the happy years you shared. I hope that, knowing you are not alone, will bring some comfort .
Friends who have been bereaved tell me it will get easier, and I believe them, but at the moment, like you, I can’t imagine it.
Jackie L
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Thank you very much. I am so so sorry your husband upped and died in his sleep just like that. It must be just terrible.
I too believe it will get easier and I have to make sure I see people a lot and don’t mope - which I don’t and take a very strong line not to. I miss my old life so much but I miss him the most and I loved him very much. I know it will get easier; it has to. I’m so glad I’m on this online conversation. It’s lovely to have an email like yours. I know it’s all part of life but it’s very painful.
Anything I can do to help you I will,
with real gratitude and very best wishes, Carroline
My husband died suddenly christmas last year like you all I’m lost and don’t know who I am without him .I have great family and friends but it doesn’t help with the constant pain I feel
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People think if you have family and friends who are good to you ..youll be ok.
But you are still alone ..not having that special person sharing day to day things is so hard
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So true .We take the everyday mundane conversations for granted .”who’s going to put the bins out” “ do you want a cuppa” red or white wine “ I miss that so much
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You are so right. It is just those things, the ordinary everyday conversations that we miss. These are the silences in our lives that we miss so much. I hope today will be a better one for you.
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My beloved husband died suddenly and unexpectedly 6 months ago after 54 wonderful years of marriage. I miss him! I miss my old life! I am not at all the person I was when he was by my side. I feel like I’m living in an alternate universe and I hate it! My family and friends have been great but it’s not the same. I’m sad all day and night grieving him.
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Thanks , i think we can just be thankful of a few nicer hours every so often .the rest are just empty x
I am also lucky with support from family and friends.o find it hard because im not really interested in their lives at the moment so am avoiding friends x
Unfortunately I have nothing new to say. I miss my husband so much every day. I cry a little bit every day. I have these bouts of grief every day. If I have a good day the next day is bad-ish or bad. I keep going with my life. I see lots of people, I live in the hope that next year, the second year, the grief will be easier to manage; it will walk beside me. Even now it doesn’t take me over; my husband died in his 80s
Go for support from family and friends. It will make a difference, I promise you.
Caroline
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I’m just SAD. I know the way I deal with things is determined by grief for my husband. Yesterday I had some hours when I was living without my accompanying grief. Today I have felt grief most of the day, but I am in the house in the country where we lived together and he died. But that is not the point; we also had v good times in this house, which I remember. Christmas of course is tricky. Even buying things in the supermarket made me cry (I cry easily). My husband would want me to be ok and enjoying myself. I’ll do what I can to fulfill his views on life.
You have summed up how i feel. I lost my husband in August. The grief is affecting me more now than in the beginning. I cry every night in bed. I still say good night and tell him I miss him. I just want him back and the pain to stop. My family and friends have been amazing but none of them have been through this. I keep very very busy it does help in someways but i know its not healthy. I just cant stop. If i do grief consumes me. I just want it to stop.
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Its really hard isnt it ..my lovely husband passed in january.i too have had a lot of support and was really busy , making sure i had company most of the time .
When i look back at how busy i was its mad ..i wanted to prove i could cope.
But ive settled down now i now feel i want to close curtains and forget about everyone.
I cant say some days are better than others ,but some hours are .
Everyone is lovely here ,its nice to know we are all going through the same feelings.
Sending big hugs xx
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We’re all in the same boat. What pain and sadness. But I know it will get better.
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Sorting papers I’ve just found my husband’s last birthday card to me last Year. Wow. I just don’t know how people stop crying and mourning. I try to look forward to things. I do things then wham! I don’t even want to express what I feel. Any tips for getting through this, please?