I lost my husband suddenly in March it’s so hard being without him The thing I find the most upsetting is not saying goodbye to him He died suddenly of a heart attack I found him when I got in from work
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Hi Clara, I lost my husband suddenly in March too. He was only 50. He went out for a run, collapsed and died. Me and my son went to find him when he didn’t come back but we were too late. I never got to say goodbye either. We are still waiting on the Coroner’s report so we don’t know exactly why. I just keep trying to plod on for my children. I go for a walk as often as I can. He was my whole future, especially as the kids were leaving home soon so I just have to take one day at a time. It feels even worse if I think about my future now. Sending hugs
Sorry to hear about your husband That must be awful to not know what happened to him I totally understand about taking one day at a time I feel so guilty about going places I keep thinking he should be with me
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I try to go to places we didn’t go together but that’s difficult because we were together for 34 years so there’s not many places close by that we didn’t go. Even if I go to new places I just think he’s missing them and why didn’t we go there together so I can’t win.
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My husband also died in March - he had had heart problems over the years so I suppose it was perhaps inevitable. It was so sudden and unexpected nevertheless. I miss him dreadfully and the grief seems worse rather better so I am not sure about time easing things. No time for goodbyes, not even a peck on the cheek. I watched him go out of the door and the next time I saw him was at the undertakers. So hard to cope.
My husband was killed in motorbike crash. He had only recently turned 60 and we were so looking forward to our retirement. Never got to hospital in time and never got to say goodbye. Pain is unbearable.
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Yeah I totally get that I try to go to place that somewhere we didn’t go But feel exactly like you do I have been getting counselling which is good to talk to somebody how I’m feeling
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My husband died suddenly last Nov while we were out walking the dog. I have had good support from family and friends but inevitably they resume their lives and I am left with trying to carve out a new one. I guess COVID has exacerbated the situation or perhaps I would have experienced the loss in the same way. I don’t know. We were happily married for 58 years. I don’t mean life was always unalloyed happiness but we were each other’s best friends. Like you I feel as if I have to say I’m ok and tbh some days I feel like I’m coping and others I’m not. Time is supposedly the great healer but at the moment it doesn’t feel like it.
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Sorry to hear about your husband I think it’s so hard when you didn’t have a chance to say goodbye That’s what I’m really struggling with
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Sorry to hear about your husband No I don’t feel like it’s getting easier and it’s sometimes easier to just say I’m ok as don’t want to explain everything I’m feeling
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My only consolation is that we had a good last day together and it’s the way he would have chosen to go. He knew I loved him. I still talk to him. I say goodnight and share what’s happened in the day. I gather that’s not unusual?
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No its not unusual to still talk to him I still do with my husband I say goodnight and that I love him and miss him
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Its 6 months since my husband of 49 years died from covid. Miss him so very much. My heart breaks ecerytime i look at his photo by his urn. Having a bad evening. People seem to think that you are over it after a while but dont think i ever will be. I talk to him. Tell him about my day and ask for his help if i have a problem. He always knew the answer. Life is so cruel. Retirement down the pan.
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We had our early retirement plan already. We thought after years of labour it’s time for the 2 of us to enjoy life. This is just not what it meant to be. My wife was the one who always came up with solution in time of crisis. After she passed 5 months ago I missed her terribly. As I am now facing another major change in life( whether to leave my home for 49 years and emigrate to other country) I just couldn’t help thinking why she left me at the worse time. I am drifting in the sea of life helplessly. Life is incredibly cruel.
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I can understand, This is the hardest thing for anyone who has not lost the part of you that makes breathing worth while. We as human beings never appreciated how hard it would be to lose part of ourselves as we have. The pain is unbelievable , unbearable and it isn’t getting any less. You only feel this if you’ve been there. And I would never of believed it could hurt so much.
I’ve thought of moving away from the home that is now just a house. The things we took so much pride in doing do not mean a thing. The life we had has suddenly died with him. We are alone.
I’m trying to be strong and positive but what if I make the wrong decision. I move and find I can’t bear to be anywhere that my husband has never seen. I can’t come back… Just as I can’t have him back in my life. What would he do? He’d probably be in the same or worse place as”Your the strong one”. Well we are NOT strong. We are all heartbroken we need to surround ourselves with people that understand. Big hugs to you all.
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My partner died unexpectedly in may this year and life feels unbearable. At one moment I think I may be feeling better then I plunge into despair. I can’t cope with the slightest upset. I can’t get my act together to do things that need doing around the house. What worries me is that I seem to be getting worse. Maybe because life seems to be going on for other people but for me it has stopped.
Dear Parsley
I lost my husband as a result of a tragic motorbike accident. Four months from retirement. We had both worked so hard. Our bungalow I now call the ‘waiting room’ because it offers me no comfort and I really am just waiting to be reunited. I hate it when people tell me to ‘stay strong’, especially those (including some family members) who have not bothered to speak with me for months but instead send the odd text in which they use these words. I do not bother replying anymore. I am not strong, like you and others I am heartbroken and I have lost the most important person in my life.
All we can do is take one day at a time.
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Dear Sheila, It is very sad that there are so many of us just lost and waiting. I try to turn the table and imagine how my husband would be. Unfortunately worse than me. I have many pets but am still longing for my best friend to walk through the door and ask me if I fancy a cuppa. The dreams I have for that moment. I know now how difficult it is alone. My friend and neighbour lost her husband 12 years ago and we cry together. It was so difficult to understand how she felt and I would ask my husband to help her. If only we had known how much she was suffering. Now I do. No one can feel our pain. I’m here if you need a friend. A special one. The others have no idea. Sending a 
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They say not to make big decisions in the first 12 months. I just wanted to drive…anywhere to begin with. I am finding it easier to be in my house now. I won’t say home because it made me realise very clearly that home was in his arms. There were so many things we wanted to do together and it was now our time as the kids were making their own lives. Sometimes I wonder what I did that was so wrong to have this as punishment because as long as he was here I tackled anything. Now…
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Oh Jules4, I wonder all the time - why me? What did I do that was so bad that this has been inflicted upon me?
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