Missing my husband

I lost my husband 5 years ago, we were childhood sweethearts, we actually met when I was 5 and he was 7, we started dating at 14, got married at 16 and had 2 wonderful daughters. He was 56 when he died of lung cancer and them memories of my big strong handsome husband turning into a mere shell of himself was horrific… none of my family know that I am like this, still the same as the day i lost him coz i pretend in front of them but i really dont know what to do… i might as well have died with him. I ve stopped living, will i ever feel happy again…

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Oh Bluebell, I’m so sorry that you are still feeling as you do, it’s all very well putting on a brave face in front of your relatives, but I’m sure they would be horrified to hear how you actually feel, you need to speak to somebody whether it’s a friend, relative or counsellor, Start with your GP, I think you might benefit from some anti depressants and then take it from there, you are not alone, I still miss my husband dreadfully and it’s coming up to 10 years, he was my first real boyfriend and we were married for 40 years, but my family and friends have helped me to deal with the grief, sending love Jude xx