Missing my husband

My husband died 13 weeks ago ,had only been diagnosed with bowel cancer 3 weeks before he died. I still can’t believe I’ll never see him again. We celebrated our golden wedding in March , just a celebration with our daughters & grandchildren. Weekends are so hard as we used to go out for a nice meal on a Saturday & maybe lunch on a Sunday . I now live on my own in the family house which now seems empty. My family are always there for me , I’m grateful for that but I just miss my husband so much. He was such a funny and lovely man . I never knew how lonely life could be. I still cry every day , it’s just so hard . I miss him so much. Thank you for listening.

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Im so sorry for your loss my husband past in may my family are wondrrful but when you get home you can cut the silence with a knife and the loneliness is unbearable my house is just some were i reside now it doesnt feel like a home any more

Hi Sue thank you for replying . It is so much harder than anyone could possibly imagine, only someone who has been through this understands. I’m so sorry to hear about your loss , isn’t so unbearable. Today I’m going to one of my daughters for lunch , I’ll be ok when I’m there but then it’s back to a empty house, I just come home close the door and cry. I’ve got a wee dog so I need to take her walks,so I go out every day. All you can do is put a brave face on. Thank you so much for replying, I really appreciate it . Look after yourself

Hi Jan I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my lovely Ron 8 months after our Golden wedding anniversary in 2015. What a wonderful year that was with a cruise with all of our family and many celebrations so many memories thank goodness. I miss him so very much but you sort of live with the grief along side of your life. But I thank God we reached our 50 years. I live in a retirement cottage and so many here didn"t reach that anniversary so we must be thankful. This site has helped me so much in realizing I am not alone. I have a wonderful family and friends for support but of course they don"t understand the grief we feel. Mind you I don"t want them to go through this for a long time. Please keep reading the posts . Love and hugs xx Carol. xxx

Hi Rocketron, thank you for replying. I’m so grateful that we did manage to celebrate our 50th anniversary, it’s just so hard being on your own after being together so long. So nice to hear you also celebrated your golden wedding. I feel my house is just so big but everyone says it’s too soon to think about moving. Some days I really feel as though I’m coping then the next I’m so upset . My husband watched a lot of TV and I now find I can’t bear to watch the things that we watched together. It was so lovely to hear from you, someone who understands, thank you. Take care love Jan xx

I lost my husband of 39 years last November. He was fit and healthy or so we thought until he was diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer aged 63. He died 18 months after his diagnosis, which was traumatic as we thought he had years rather than months. I thought I was coping too, keeping busy until it hit me all of a sudden that I was alone and my future was gone too. I understand the loneliness I dread coming home to an empty house it is unbearable sometimes.
I am sorry for your loss, it somehow helps to speak to someone who knows what you are going through. I hope that the pain will get easier with time.

Hi June F I’m so sorry for your loss. It really is so hard coming home to an empty house. I find that even when my family visit it’s back to being lonely again once they go home. I never used to sit up late but now I can’t go to bed early or I’ll not sleep. It really helps being on here as you know everyone understands. Love to all , Jan xx

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Hi Jan hope today is a decent day for you .i find my minds in bit off fog and memory dreadful my grief just takes over my brain .My bp risen to .Its a nice day for a walk with your little dog i have shih tzus keep well sue x

Hi Sue I’ve been trying to get online since this morning ,seems to have been a problem .I had a better day today , I was at my daughters in the afternoon , helps make the day go in quicker. I know what you mean about memory , mine is so bad just now. My dog is a Lhasa apso , I really don’t know what I’d do without her, she is such good company for me. Love xx Jan xx

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Hi Jan Thankyou for your lovely reply, it is comforting to know that I’m not alone in feeling the way I do. It’s as though I’ve been thrown into this new life I didn’t chose.
I feel the same when my family visit and I dread them leaving, I try to take a day at a time. Regards to you and all on this site x

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Your story sounds familiar to mine.my husband passed away last February with prostrate cancer 18 months after diagnosis.even though he was having symptoms for nearly 3 years.He was 57 and we had been married 38 years.I have been finding it harder now than the first year.crying every evening and still going over every thing that happened in my head.At the moment it’s hard as I just had operation on my foot so in plaster for 6 weeks.i felt I could go mad today stuck in house,and it’s only day 4.
Oh dear I seem to be moaning a lot.sorry.
I am sorry for your loss and I know how you feel too.take care.

Sorry for your loss,I know how you feel I have family and grandchildren and hide my feelings from them,I can go out for the day with family then as soon as you get home and open the door it’s just lonleyness.i hope this forum will give you some comfort.and know you are not alone.Take care.x

Hi I’ve had such bad day today, I hate weekends but I today I feel worse than I’ve felt recently. I was out yesterday with my family and had a reasonable good day but since I woke up this morning I’ve just felt so sad. I just miss everything about my husband not being here . We had so many plans for the future as we’re both retired. I really just can’t imagine my future without him. I know everyone keeps saying it’s early days , its just over 3 months , but I just can’t get to grips with everything today. Hope you are all having a better day than me. Love to everyone, Jan xx

hi sue the same for me and the same feelings to nice to know im not mad and quite normal sending hugs xxxxx

hi jan my husband passed away in may too I feel exactly like you so its sounds to be normal I have cried every day since he went and cant imagine life without him cant even begin to imagine how to move on but really after 43 years of marriage it is normal to be feeling this way after spending most of our lives with the same person its bound to be very hard xxxxxx

hi junef I lost my husband at 62 with the same in may this year I totally understand your feelings as it is the same for me xxx

Thanks for your reply. Your story sounds so like mine I’m so sorry for your loss, it is so hard to get through the days. I do the same relive all the days and weeks before he died and wish it hadn’t happened to us. We had so many plans for the future. I am trying to be positive for my family as I know they are worried about me but it is so hard. I hope you have better days. Take care x

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Hi Julie Steve thanks for your reply I’m so sorry for your loss, there are no words to describe the pain. Take care x

Hi I lost my husband 20 months ago. He found a tiny lump in his neck, and it went from ‘it’ll be nothing’ to ‘it’s a secondary’ after a biopsy. They never found the primary but at every scan it was somewhere else. He responded so well to treatment that they couldn’t find it on scans, then he went downhill and died within 2 weeks of being given a terminal diagnosis, 18 months from finding the lump til the end. The first year was bad, the first part of the second year was even worse, because that’s when reality hits, that this is forever. Now I live every day to the full. I still break down occasionally when I’m alone, and I love and miss Mal every second of every day, but he would want me to make the most of my life, so that’s what I’m trying to do. I’m not religious so don’t believe we will meet again, but I am so happy and thankful that I met him and we were able to share our love.

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