I am feeling very down, I lost my lovely mum this year on Mother’s Day 14th March. I was very close to her and was also her carer. My mother was disabled through a virus that attacked the central nervous system overnight when I was just 15 years, (its a long story) now I am 54. Although she was quite independent, did a lot for herself I have always been there for her. Now she has gone, I am feeling very empty, I cry most days and feel very lost , I sit in her bedroom and still chat to her spiritually. And cannot bear to start clearing away her clothes and possessions. I miss our laughs and chats, we were like sisters, now she is not there the grief is unbearable. I just want to be with her and give her a big hug and tell her how much I love her.
Lind, losing your mum is bad but having looked after for so long makes it more difficult and my heart goes out to you. There’s many on this site that have lost one or both of their parents so there are is lots of support.
Don’t worry about your mums cloths or anything else, you will know when it’s time to do these things and don’t worry if you find that you have to stop and leave it, there’s no time scale for grieving.
If you feel you have got stuck then maybe think of getting help from counselling.
Take care and just take little steps don’t rush. S xx
Hi Lind
Im 54
I lost my Mom March 2020
I felt the same as you I dont know how i got out of bed some days and I felt so ill with grief its now 15 months on and I am beginning to accept it
it gets easier slowly day by day but it takes time
I did seek counselling which helped me but it was slow
i hope this helps take care
Susie123, Thank you for your reply and for your kind words and support. It is nice that I am not alone in the way I am feeling. This site has been very comforting reading others letters and that others are feeling the same emotions and unbearable grief where you feel there is no escape or no where to run.
Thank you again. Lind13 xx
Tessa11, Thank you for your reply, I was sorry to hear that you lost your mum last March and that it has been very hard for you. I have read that you can never fully get over the death of someone you loved dear and close to you, but you have to find a way to live without them find a way to cope . As you mentioned it takes time. Morning 's are the worse, waking up knowing my mum is not there is a nightmare . I call out to her, I want to chat, make her tea, breakfast and then bust into tears. Everything feels so empty. Thank you for your reply Tessa11 xx
Hello Lind ,
I lost my dear mum 2 weeks ago today . I was her full time carer for 20+ years so I understand exactly how you feel . I am lost without her and still can’t believe my mum has gone ( even though it was the funeral 3 days ago ). It’s very early days and hope that it gets easier for both of us in time . Take good care , you are in my thoughts and prayers x
I totally understand… I lost my beautiful mum 1 year ago and I hear every word xx thinking of you x
Hello Anne3
I was very sorry to hear that you lost your mum in February. And like my mother you was her carer.
I find it very hard to believe that my mum has gone, I think that she is somewhere else in the house or when I go shopping she is still at home, when I come home I sometimes call out to her that I’m home then it waves over me that she is not there. It is early days that our mothers have died but I doubt I would ever get over it. I find myself pacing from room to room and then I start crying. Like you my mum and I were inseparable and best friends. It is nice that I am not alone in the way that I am feeling and that I can share me grief with others. Thank you Annie3 xx
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Hello Angie4
I was very sorry to hear you lost your dear mum just two weeks ago and that you were her full time carer for 20 years. It is an awful feeling that they are no longer with us anymore.
I was so used to doing so much for my mother, making her tea, hot water bottles, I would do anything for her. Then it suddenly stops, and feel so lost and empty. I keep saying that she is not suffering anymore Yes, I hope it gets easier for us in time. With kind wishes to you,. xx
Hello Claire03, I was sorry to hear you lost your mother over a year ago. It is comforting to know that there are people on this site you can write to who understand what you are going through. Thank you Claire03 xx