I wonder whether there is any desire /scope just to meet up for a coffee/chat one day. I live in the outskirts of Leeds near Harrogate. I saw Julia you said North Yorkshire
Thank you all so much for you kind and encouraging messages.
Just at the moment everything feels so difficult. I don’t know why. I just can’t get motivated to do anything apart from what is necessary.
I cry at the smallest of things (even after 13 months) I just miss my Bill so much - more every day.
I know you’re all going through this in your own ways and I feel so selfish for going on about me. I’m so sorry.
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I think your words will relate to a lot of people here, but its just not the loss of a person. Its so much more, its the memories, life, todays world and debts and greed too. Trapment plays its part. It doesnt matter if it was a partner or a pearent we kind felt safe around that other person, now we dont have that and it feels like the world just doesnt care either. If you have no family or if you do it makes you realise just how alone you really are. It all plays its part, and we all are individuals. So you can never read too much into other peoples journeys on here.
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Harriet4Bill - its been 22 months since I lost my Phil and even today I woke up with tears streaming. It is the little things. Yesterday I won a competition we both used to play in and he was not here when I got home last night to be able to tell him or to be able to celebrate with him. I do not remember dreaming last night but I often wake in tears feeling sorry for myself at all we have lost. Yet, he is around in spirit of that I am sure. I went into the bathroom last week and on the window ledge was a white feather - windows firmly closed - so I took it as a sign he is still around me. I left the feather there too!
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Hi Harriet, really sorry you’re having such a rough time at the moment and know from your many posts just how much Bill meant to you. You mention lack of motivation and this is really “normal” after losing a close partner. I’m the same, i sit at home and can see allsorts that need doing,but I just cant be bothered anymore. When Val was here I was always on with something and planning the next job,but now nothing. My energy and motivation just drained away when she passed. We’re all here,in the same boat, and all happy to support each other. Take things at your own pace, dont worry what people thinks or say, they dont know what we’re going thru. Take care
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Don’t worry what people say as I to have my beloved ashes i also find having his ashes at home very comforting . My beloved passed a year and 6 months ago i still find it so hard 
i miss him every day also it would have been his birthday today i still put out the birthday cards i bought him im missing my beloved so much i cry every day. Sometimes i think i can’t be bothered with all this stuff but i find the strength to carry on but it’s not easy 
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Hi Everyone
I feel this community is my life line.
Woke up early with panic attack and tears. It will be 2years on the 23rd of this month since I lost Keith. I still wonder how I have survived. I do have days when things aren’t quite as bad. Just really not good at the moment. So lonely.
Send my thoughts to everyone and thank you for listening.
Take care. 
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I know how you feel you are not alone im sending you hugs you take care.
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I agree with you totally George. I want to do things but it takes a huge amount of energy to do so and sometimes I just don’t have the energy at all.
Kate
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Hi Julia
I live in Huddersfield west Yorkshire.
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My thoughts are with you . I lost my husband on the 8th February 2025 . I live alone . Kids married. I feel very lonely and lost . I miss my husband terribly.
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We understand how you feeling li lost my husband unexpectedly 2 yrs 8 months ago some days i still carnt get motervated some days i feel whats point only me to please , we totally get it so dont leave group think we probably only ones apart from people who going through this lonely journey of grief ive now stopped trying to talk to friends about how im feeling they dont want to know they think i should be over it which will never happen he was my life
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Tinatina
Yes friends who haven’t experienced the loss of a soulmate can never understand.
We will always be heartbroken at our loss no matter how much time has passed.
We were loved and cared for and that has now gone. We just try to live a very different life and it’s very difficult. I live near Northallerton, North Yorkshire. We are all spread around, but sadly we all share the pain.
Hugs for everyone.
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I live in west Yorkshire about 1 hour away from you , this greif is so lonely and heartbreaking but i was thinking today i need to try focus on our memories and how lucy we are to have found someone so special who we loved and loved us ,
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Tinatina
Yes we have all been lucky to have found a soulmate that loved us and we loved them. I am grateful every day since we met when we were teenages and had all those happy years together. Some people never
Experience that but now we just miss them. Their love, touch a constant that you could always rely on. The grief is awful but having Keith with me throughout my adult life has been such a precious gift
to treasure. Still miss him every moment.
Love to all.
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I lost my husband 1 month ago. Suddenly…his heart stopped and he was on motorcycle that time. He was only 45 years old. I miss him all the time, don’t know how to cope, how to funciton with all this. I lost some friends in that time, because I didn’t want to go out or to the lunch,… Because for them my grieving is weird… So, yeah… What I find most annoying around people is how smart they are - so many advices, so many options, but I just want to grief in silence. Also, one of my friends said to me - how will you meet someone new, if you are all the time at home. She really doesn’t get it. I don’t want somebody, I want my husband. We have 2 daughters, I think I will just try to live for them.
I miss my husband every second of every day. He was my soulmate, my best friend, my entire world. And now everything its gone. He would be the only who knew how to take this pain and living hell away.
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DK4ever
This is heartbreaking for you.
Especially to lose your soulmate so young. I’m glad you have 2 daughters to make life worth living.
Friends who do not understand the pain you are going through can be so insensitive.
No one understands the grief you are experiencing but those in this community who are grieving for their soulmate do.
It is nearly 2 years since I lost my husband. I find this community helps me so I’m sure it will help you in some way. Keep posting.
Take care.
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DK4ever, I am sorry for your loss. On here we all understand as we are going through this hard experience ourselves. One month on I actually thought I was coping, As my wife’s death was sudden we had to wait for an autopsy deal with the Coroner, and all the rest of the administration and funeral, Then that was done, Friends started to go back to their normal lives, and then I was alone. Grief came. The only thing that worked for me is just one step at a time. My adult children were very supportive. I should have taken her to A&E when we spoke to 111 and they sent an ambulance, I should have gone with her in the ambulance. I left straight after the Ambulance when I got to the hospital the A&E consultant told me that my Darling was dying and she was gone in less than half an hour, There is no point going down the what if. It is done I cannot change that. This little thing I saw " Time does not heal a heartache, nor stop a silent tear, or take away the memories of one we held so dear. I try and keep the happy memories close to hand, and ok to start with they made me cry, but they did shine through. The other two, the price I have to pay for the 53 years the my Darling was in my life and the two wonderful children she gave us. So DK4ever, be kind to yourself, eat properly and look after those two daughters. Sending you a big hug, like from your brother.
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Its true what you saying we were both 17 yr old when we met he died at age 59 miss him so much its hard i really dont know how to build a life on my own he was my life , i feel like ive no purpose and dont fit in anymore
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Its heartbreaking no one understands until they have lived it do whats best way you can cope with your grief ignore unless advice from people who have no idea what you going through they dont deserve your friendship take care one day at a time x
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