Misunderstanding

I am finding that there are more misunderstandings, than when my husband was alive, when trying to negotiate life as a widow. It feels such new territory after my whole life was as a couple. No one to bounce off in innermost a thoughts to and so tiring some days. Am I only person recently widowed who feels like this?
So I write in the notes on my smartphone to my husband as if it is a letter. Of course it doesn’t anywhere but it helps somehow as if I am sending him a message.

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I speak to my wife. I also go to her grave every day and give her any news of the family. I’m only 5 week in on this hellish reality and it seems to help me. and you’re right, its truly exhausting

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My hubby was the one everyone went to for advice, i could really do with him here to help me with some big decisions. I still text him and send him things on Instagram i think he’d like. I struggle to talk to him alot of people have suggested i do but i just cant, but like you @Enorac i write notes on my phone as though im writing to him. Dont know why, they dont go anywhere…like a journal i suppose

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I’ve kept a diary since week 1 and talk to my other half through that. I tell him everything I want him to know and just the general goings on in my day to day life, just like I would have if he was alive.

It’s interesting to read back to see how I was feeling at different times as my memory is shocking at the moment and I can’t remember a lot of things.

I write to him in a journal most days , sometimes it’s unprintable !!! I never ever knew it could be this hard to face each day . I’ve been a nurse fir 23 years given bad news left , right and centre and held them and said I’m so sorry but I still didn’t get it till you loose your partner xxx

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I thought it might get better but so many new reminders. He was good at sorting out misunderstandings when get silly official letters that don’t make sense.
Her never lost his mind but did forget odd things.
I have been trying o get rid of ants everywhere. He just use to pull everything out and try to find where they were coming from. So many little things he did. I wish I had been nicer.

BobY I haven’t been to his grave every day. I ought to check it but don’t seem to get there.
He wouldn’t care
I am interested it doesn’t look a mess I can’t decide exactly what to put on his headstone. So many decisions and am useless at decisions. just feels scarey

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I understand. visiting helps me but may not be right for others. I’m quite lucky with good family support and I was full time caring of her for some years so am used to doing everything.

Yes I used to say to him I won’t have a clue if anything happened to him as I needed to get my head round it. In hospital he used to say don’t worry leave until I come home but of course he didn’t.

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@Enorac
So sorry for your lonliness. It’s bloody horrible isn’t it.
Like @Ali29 I keep a diary, which is written to my husband. I don’t write everyday, when I want to , sometimes it can be 2 or 3 or 4 times a day, and sometimes 2 or 3 days might go by.
I write to tell him my feelings, tell him about things that have happened, people who have called, and about the news and sport that I know would interest him, make him laugh, even make him cross.
It really helps me a lot.
It might help you
Big hugs :hugs::hugs:

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Youre not alone, i still text my husband every night, telling him whats been happening with the kids, etc. Like you, we did everything as a team, decisions, stuff around the home, everything, and now i find myself having to manage alone.

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