I have been reading all the recent posts on the forum and my heart aches for you all. I lost my husband of 47 years, four years ago this month on the 30th August and life for me has never been the same. I honestly thought that one day there would be light at the end of the tunnel, but so far there hasn’t been, in fact it is getting worse. I live in the past because the present is not worth living and the future I can’t bear to think about.
When you are grieving you need all the support you can get, not for a few weeks, but until you feel as if you can start to think straight again, but in my case family, neighbours and friends, vanished after a few weeks, and it started soon after my husband’s funeral. I got fed up of everyone expecting me to get back to normal and start to enjoy my life again, are they living in cloud cuckoo land, what is normal after you lose your partner, how can you enjoy your life ever again and then comes the dreaded words, ‘you have to move on’. Under my breath I used to think of some disgusting words to say what they could do with their advice.
Our family, I have two sons, don’t seem to give a darn about me now and I don’t think this has helped at all. They have moved on with their lives totally. Since his dad’s death our younger son has bought a lovely home, got married and then had a baby and it was heartbreaking that his dad was not there to see it. Our other son has got divorced.
I was ill all last week, and I could not get out of bed to even find a spot in the house to find a wi-fi signal to let them know I was poorly, where I live the signal is atrocious, so I must get a landline in. The sad thing is, they never rang me to see why I had not been in touch. I received a text this morning asking me to childmind our granddaughter for two days this week. I told our son I was not well enough and told him I had been ill all last week and all he said, well she won’t be much bother.
I no longer see our other two grandsons owing to problems with our other son’s ex.
Perhaps this is why after four years without my husband, I am still grieving for the life I used to have, for the future I thought we would have together, but to be honest, things are not going to change, our divorced son is talking about emigrating somewhere or another.
The conclusion I have arrived at is that as long as you have family and friends to be there for you, you will manage to survive this terrible heartache you are going through
and in time, you will see the light at the end of the tunnel, it may take months or even years, but you will see it, but for many of us without people to be here for us, we will grieve forever as life as we knew it is over and all we have left are our memories of what used to be.
I hope with all my heart that you all have people to care for you and stand by you because you are going to need all the love and support that you can get during this nightmare you are going through.