Every morning i wake up ( wishing I hadn’t) and the pain in my stomach cones back.
3 weeks tomorrow but feels like forever.
Been looking at old photos which made me smile but i miss him so nuch.
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We have a large photo on the wall taken when my son was 15 over in Ireland .every morning I say good morning to him,and at night I say goodnight.
My son aged 47 who had special needs died on 17 th July of cancer which spread to bone…it is never easy, you never think your child is going to go before you. Love to you and your family
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Pest, thank you.
So sorry for your loss, I talk to him a lot and feel strength from him in my heart.
Love to you and your family.
Still so early for us .
I know that feeling if waking of and wishing so much it wasn’t real , realising it is real and then wishing I hadn’t woken up .
I will say 10 weeks on whilst the devastation of losing my boy and the yearning is still there , the intensity of those feelings have lessened to a constant dull ache with bouts of anguish every now and then .
Be gentle with yourself .
xx
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Tilly13 thank you.
I will never stop missing him, he was my favourite youngest son as i called him.
Still want to be with him.
Of course you will never stop missing him .
We would have gladly given our lives to save them .
xx
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I would have always given my life for my children, i have had my life.
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Me too .
I’ve always lived for them and put them first .
My daughter is what keeps me going .
xx
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I sleep for about an hour then wake up panicking, originally I had all over body pain, now its an aching emptiness and stomach pain, keep panicking today that I will never see him again, never have any conversations with him, I’m talking to him but its all one way, nearly 6 weeks and I still cannot believe it
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My son used to phone us up in the morning sometimes about 5 , saying wake up you lazy bones get out of bed . I think because the hospital use to get them up early, I miss him so much he was the bravest person I know.He was in so much pain,but still wanted to make people laugh,he used to say I don’t want people crying over me. This horrible cancer ruins so many peoples lives.RIP my darling and to all others
I can’t focus or deal with today in a right state. My head in overdrive and my heart pounding. I can’t get my head round it today that I will never see my son again, I’m so sorry for being full of gloom today, xx
I’m having a really bad morning, can’t cope, non stop crying but I do know somehow I will re group and have to be ok. I think a lot of this is the build up to the inquest on 21st. Plus when we were food shopping yesterday I saw Christmas stuff in the shop, nearly gave me meltdown in the shop. Have to remember minute by minute xx
I think the pending inquest will have brought everything to the fore front of your mind again (not that it ever went far no doubt).
Sorry you are having such a bad morning .
It is hard to think we will never see our boys again 
I hope you can get out for a walk that may help .
xx
Think you are right, I can’t even pick up the paperwork which I printed off to look at it. Will try and get out for a walk. Hope you are ok, well that’s bit stupid of me really but you know what I mean xx
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I’m blanking Christmas out this year . Ignoring it completely . Going away to a cottage by the sea with not one around .
xx
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I don’t like Christmas anyways, lots of reasons, but we won’t be doing it and just like you blanking it xx
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We are so lucky we live on the coast so we will definitely by out walking a lot that day, can’t even think ahead to this afternoon at the moment, take care xx
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@Tilly13
What a good idea. My dear husband was very poorly and in a nursing home over Christmas and New Year, and sadly died on 10 January. I am wondering what to do,
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Im sure the inquest coming up is making you feel like this, just take it slow these next few weeks and look after yourself
Yes ive noticed Christmas stuff im so not wanting to do Christmas but its my turn for parents and other son still wants tree up, how im going to manage with just one son on my bed opening his stocking i do not know. We had lots of traditions we did every year
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