Mothers Day

Coping with bereavement
1

I don’t know if this is helpful but I just thought it might be an idea to open a thread for co-support during mothers day tomorrow.
I’ve been finding it quite difficult this year coping with mothers day after the death of my mother. I’ve found myself having a bit of a wobble so instead of bottling it up I thought I’d reach out. I’ve made a deal with my sister to call if we feel it’s difficult tomorrow and I thought it would be good to support each other within this bereavement community as well. Just if you need to get some feelings off your chest this could be the place.

This will be a little bit of a rant so I’m already really sorry- I really miss her, I’m starting to forget her voice and I’m for the first time desperately wanting her back. I do feel the grief like a burning hole at the moment. She was a stubborn, intelligence and creative woman and I am really feeling her absence even though it’s been years at this point. I know grief never leaves, it just changes with you and this year has made me think a lot about her- what would we both be like now if we had the chance? I’d love nothing more than to just hug her.
I’m additionally worried about my Dad and brother, both of whom her death affected but they seem to not want to just admit how difficult it is. They have this constant positivity but it feels facade. I can definitely see it with my brother who is in the grips of a really horrible depression that I’m not sure how to help as he refuses to admit it. My dad has a new girlfriend who’s moved into our family house but according to my sister (who he has a few drinks and rants to apparently) he’s unsure. Apparently he’s not feeling great about her bringing her daughters over for mothers day, I can see her point as she lives there she should be able to. I just worry that he won’t just say he’s uncomfortable and rather let it fester, which will just hurt her and him. I know people need to make their own mistakes but I just worry about them all the time.
Thinking on this has really made me think about the future and what relationship I want with my family and I need to work on visiting them more often just trying to work through it all together. I would love us all to have some kind of family therapy so we can have stronger foundations but I don’t know if my dad or brother would go for it.
It’s a lot of feelings, I hope I’m not rambling on and some of this has resonated with people, it’s just a lot of feeling to hold over a particular day in March.

2 Likes
2

Hi @Dorothy99,

Thank you so much for sharing this with the community :blue_heart: Hopefully this thread may help some users including yourself, but I just wanted to let you know that you have been heard and you are not alone.

Take good care,
Alex

2 Likes
3

I feel you , it’s the first Mother’s Day since I lost my nan in June last year we usually celebrate it by going to Hera the day before but this year we went to her grave , it still hurts knowing she’s not here anymore it’s like my heart being ripped out , I still tear up just thinking of her,

4 Likes
4

It’s our first Mother’s Day since my mum died on New Year’s Day. I feel so sad for her that she’s not here, she is missing so much and that breaks my heart. I met up with my brother and sister last night for a takeaway at my mum and dads house and just being there without her felt strange, the house felt so empty despite the fact that there were 12 of us in there. She would have loved us all getting together like that. My little one is turning 6 months and has just started to eat solids. My mum would have been so proud to see how well she’s doing after a difficult start in life. It’s strange as I miss her so much and miss all the things we would do, like shopping, lunches and just long chats on the phone but it really hits hard to think about all the things she won’t ever get to see now. I really struggle as well with her last few days, it all happened so unexpectedly as she was in hospital for 3 days with flu. She was only 64, and I feel at 31 I’m just too young not to have a mum however selfish that sounds. Myself and my husband went to visit her on New Year’s Eve and the doctors said she was doing great and hopefully would come off her oxygen the next day. A few hours later we were back watching her take her last breath. I really feel for everyone going through this and Mother’s Day is just a painful reminder of what we have all lost. Sending love and strength to you all :heart:

5 Likes
5

I’m sorry for your loss, I really empathise with your situation. I lost my mum when I was 24 so I really understand where you’re coming from. It can be so difficult, particularly missing just the normal stuff together. Hope you are doing alright today!

6

I got a bit teary earlier, it happen to us all :frowning: Just a normal part of grief but sending you love today. You are not alone.

1 Like
7

Thanks , same to you,

1 Like