Moving forward not on

I’m 18 months into my journey. Where am I at at this point. 18 months of losing a wonderful guy who loved the bones of me, hey, he still does. He made me accept my journey has to continue, he will be there, and he is or I simply could not do what I do. I am very active, I have a amazing people there to support my wobbles (take note they are part of your life now, don’t question it, it happens and you will come through).
My decision is to live the life I would have had, that actually I still have, and know my man is right there beside me, in EVERY step I take. Now I know not everyone faces this life changing (if I could swear I would) challenge the same way…a lot influences that but the one thing I am sure of is if we just keep a little bit of positivity or ‘light’ as my lovely Johnathan would say, will get there. I’m bowing out now as I can’t deal with posts that encourage then dissolve.it makes me feel I am unique and it that is what my experience is it down to one person, the guy I met at 16 and lost at 64 x Be kind and considerate as you interact x

I’m not going to try to persuade you to stay this time lovely lady, because I understand perfectly what you’re saying. What I will do though is thank you for all your wonderful support, your positivity and understanding. I hope you continue to make progress on this difficult journey with your man right by your side. By the way, you are unique my lovely friend :))

Hi SanW, l thoroughly agree with Crazy Kate, your messages are so positive and certainly help me. We are all dealing with our grief in the best way we can. My dear husband would be devastated to see me in such distress as l am at this present time. My heart is breaking. All we worked for, the plans we had for when we retired, snatched away tragically. This forum gives people like myself hope and strength to carry on, and for posts like yours l thank you. I do not know where l would be without the support of others in this awful journey. I would swear l was truly going mad. Love Sandra F x

Good morning Sandra F.
You make a very good point - HOPE. For those of us who have been travelling this journey longer than others that is the one thing we can offer. Hope! Pardon me for stating the obvious but life can never be what it was, but a little hope can give us the strength to carry on. Thankfully there are several people on this site who provide hope, SanW being one of them. It has been two years and 3 months since I lost my husband and here I am still breathing. I can smile, I can sing, I can laugh. I’ve made it this far and I can go on. Oh yes, I still have my bad times and I know I always will but I can enjoy life too, even if it is tainted with sadness. So if I can offer a little hope to any of you out there today then that’ll do for me. Thank you Sandra F for reminding us of HOPE and thank you SanW and all of you who offer hope. Xx

As always Kate, you are at it again, spreading hope and encouragement, thank God! I would suggest the last post of yours is a blueprint for living without our loved ones.
I don’t believe in spreading false hope because that can have disappointing results, but real HOPE, the sort you and I talk about, is the real thing. The old expression ‘Hope springs eternal in the human breast’ is so true. Without it, even in the most dark moments, humanity would die.
Now I do appreciate that not everyone can feel that Hope. Loss can be so devastating that everything else is just emptiness. But nothing comes to us unless we go looking for it. ‘Seek and ye shall find’ is so true.

And SanW, I know what you mean about posts that encourage then dissolve. I found that when I first came on here. It seems as if we are uplifted then reading on can be cast down by some negative post.
But I soon realised that grief affects everyone in so many different ways. It does depend on a persons temperament. Who knows what effect our posts have on anyone. We can only ‘cast our bread upon the waters’ and hope for the best.
I am so sorry you are leaving. I have talked to you elsewhere. Please reconsider. It will be our loss.
Bless everyone. Hope and some little peace to you all.

And you Jonathan are one of those people I mentioned, who offer hope. Thank you. You have also brought reasoning along with tact and diplomacy. You often speak of the “light at the end of the tunnel” so let us all keep moving forward toward it. I think survival is key and let’s face it, it’s human instinct to survive, in fact it’s any animal instinct to survive. We owe it to our loved ones to survive. Our world can never be the same but I truly believe that we can know a certain contentment again if we allow ourselves. Xx

Kate and Jonathan, how I like to come on the forum and see what you have to say. Such inspirational words of wisdom.I love you both.

SanW,how I shall miss you, please reconsider we really need people like you.

The word HOPE means a lot to me. Everyday I chant a few words (sometimes silently or under my breath), I ask for Love, Kindness, forgiveness, health and HOPE. I find a secluded spot by the sea, in woodland or anywhere that l find peaceful and say over and over my ‘wish list’. It gives me comfort. And I do believe that slowly that contentment is entering back into my life and that light is beginning to show itself.
We do have to search but if we never try then how do we know what is being offered to us. What journey we will be going on. Whatever that is my Brian will be with me every inch of the way. He’s stuck with me.

Pat xx

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