Moving forward.

Hi everyone
I posted several months ago and nothing since I’m afraid.

My question is has anyone else felt as if they are completely out of the loop with life ??
I’ve had a really rough 8 months and am now on medication. I’m now picking up the pieces of my life without my beloved daughter.

Life has thrown several body blows to us since which has set me back again.

I’m aware everyone deals with bereavement in their own way and my husband and son seem to be coping a lot better than me. Down to the fact that I think that they both work in our family business although my husband is 70.

People have said that I could perhaps do a part time job . Something I would find difficult at the moment as my confidence is very low, down to depression.

There is no magic wand to change this I know but has anyone experienced what seems like complicated grief ??

Thanks for any comments.

Hello June. I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved daughter, you must miss her terribly. I miss my daughter too, although she hasn’t died but she left the family some years ago. She came back briefly after my husband (her dad) passed away and I welcomed her with open arms, but she’s gone again now - I guess she has her own demons to deal with. Anyway I won’t burden you with my problems.

My guess is that you’re struggling because you’re her mum, you carried her inside you for nine months. Children are not supposed to die before their parents. Eight months is a very short time to even begin to pick up the pieces. Take your time, be kind to yourself and when I say that I mean don’t expect too much of yourself, do whatever you feel you can. What is right for one person may not be right for you. Our grief is unique.

I think when people have suggested you get a job, they mean it as a distraction, something else to think about. Work has helped me enormously since losing my husband and I don’t know what I would have done without it. I understand that you’re confidence has been knocked so maybe not the right time to consider looking for a job but perhaps you could do some charity work. It would take your mind off things if only for a short while, give you some relief. However, I think it’s true to say that you will never be over the loss of your daughter, nor would you want to be and as it’s been said on other conversations here - it doesn’t get any better but you get better at it - and you will. I’m sending you love and a big hug xx

Hello Kate
Thank you so much for replying to my post so swiftly.

I have a bereavement counsellor which I see each week, so I’m able to vent any feelings I need to get off my chest.

My husband and son are struggling with not only the loss of Verity but the great pressures of our business.

I retired when I was 60, 5 years ago. Then I was fully occupied with my horse as was my daughter.
Since her passing we have had to put her horse to sleep. I now find it almost impossible to go and see mine. He is on livery at the yard so is being well looked after.

I just feel so completely lost, my whole world is imploded.

We have 2 granddaughters , my sons daughter we don’t see as there has been difficulties with my daughter in law since I had a depressive episode when I lost my brother and a week later my horse that I had nursed for 2 months. She doesn’t understand the illness.
My daughters little girl is the imagine of her mum and we do see her about twice a week but even this doesn’t lift my spirits.

I’m hoping by opening up on this forum that something will resonate with another contributor??

I’ve always been an enthusiastic person about my passions but I don’t recognise this person at all.

Thank you again for your reply. X

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