Multiple close loses

Hi. In the last 8 years I have lost my son, my sister and my dad. My other sister has had cancer and I have also lost my father in law ,2 aunts and uncle and cousin. I plod along for a few weeks and then feel like I’m not coping again. I feel that I must have done something wrong to effect all those close to me

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Dear @Maz1, I am so sorry you have suffered so many losses over the past few years. It must be so incredibly difficult. Please do not think you are somehow to blame for these losses, you’re not, it’s easy to think so when the losses are so much compared to other people, but this is just down to bad luck, and nothing to do with you. Have you ever had bereavement counselling? Do you have family or friends who you can talk to? I am glad you have come to this place, because it does seem as if talking about your grief might benefit you.

Hello Abdullah

I havent had any counselling, I was supposed to after my son died but my sister was diagnosed with terminal cancer so I cancelled it as I needed to be there for her. I just feel that the common denominator between all the deaths is me … I worry my other children will be effected… x

Dear @Maz1, Sue Ryder provide free online counselling - maybe that would help you? After all, you have unfortunately gone through an exceptionally high number of losses in the past few years, and that must be so difficult for you to cope with. I totally understand how you must feel you are the common denominator, most of us would if we were in the same situation as you, but please realise you’re not. Honestly. It must be scary thinking something might happen to your other children, that is another common feeling when you have had multiple bereavements, this is why counselling might benefit you, because counsellors have talked to people who have gone through what you are going through, and might therefore be able to help you.

Hi Maz1,

I’m sorry to hear that you’re struggling to cope. It sounds like you’ve been through a lot, and I think anyone would feel overwhelmed in your position.

As Abdullah mentioned, Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: www.sueryder.org/counselling

You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area. Please be aware that GPs and support services are not currently offering face-to-face appointments, but will usually be offering telephone or online alternatives.

Take care,
Hazel
Online Community Team

I’m so desperately sorry for your losses, utterly devastating. I lost my 22 yr old son suddenly in June, so understand you. The pain & yearning is indescribable. It helps sometimes to message others who understand the depth of the trauma of losing a child & other loved ones.
Sending love and strength to you & everyone

Do the next right thing. Weather that be just getting out if bed. Then brushing your teeth. One tiny step at a time. Before you know it you’ll be half way through the day. IV had 3 losses in 6 months. Last one only two weeks ago. I feel it’s gonna be a year before I know it from the first death. Yes I don’t feel I have faced any of them yet. But here I am. Somehow. Going through the days.