I found the love of my life dead accidental overdose 4th Dec. I have been in extreme wild pain and then hadn’t noticed my darling hero of a Daddy deteriorating and he died ( quickly in hospital with us around him) 34 days later. I had two miscarriages late last year ( both long wanted babies) and have had massive other traumas in the past. I have no idea how to process one let alone two ( or in this case 3?) huge losses and I’ve reached out to everyone -friends, family doctors charities Crisis team but nothing working and I’m more and more willing to end it. I have nothing left xx I’m 36.
Hi Suki81.
I’m so sorry to read your pain. I don’t think there is a way to process all you have gone through quickly. It is going to take some time.
I had my 3rd and final miscarriage in 2016 then last year I lost my hero, my dad too. 6 weeks later my mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer and I have been caring for her ever since. My only advice is directly from my mum when I asked her how I would get through all this. I hope her advice helps you too as she just said “can you get through today?” When I said Yes, she told me that was the way to get through it all, just one day at a time.
I really hope this forum helps you. It is already helping me as it is a safe place to get your feelings out of your head and in to words. There are some very kind people on here and we are all dealing with loss and grief so you are not alone.
Big hug
Ann x
Hi Suki,
I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve had so many devastating losses in a short space of time and that you feel you have nothing left. I’m concerned that you’ve said you feel willing to end your life. It’s really important that you keep yourself safe - please contact the Samaritans as soon as possible today on 116 123. They are there for you 24/7.
Please also contact your GP surgery for an emergency appointment today to talk about how you are feeling and put a plan in place for keeping you safe. I know it must be frustrating if reaching out to them in the past does not feel as though it helped, but the important thing is to keep yourself safe for now. Your losses are all very recent and raw and, as Annie said in her previous reply, in grief you can often only take things day by day, or even hour by hour.
You deserve care and support, so please do reach out and talk to someone about how you are feeling.
Priscilla