Mum passed away recently

Mum passed away on Christmas Day, rather suddenly. She had emphysema and heart failure, which was diagnosed in September 2022. it seems it was all missed because of lockdown and she had worked foe the NHS the whole way through lockdown. She was discharged with oxygen therapy. however, there was no real care plan. I couldnt get hold of respiratory nurses or hospital doctors (even her GP tried).

i feel like the NHS let her down. I reduced my work load to help and was desperately trying to her moved to a more suitable home. She nearlybpassed away in February’s 2023 with pneumonia but was again discharged 2 weeks later. in fact when i picked her up, she was sitting in the corner of the ward with all her stuff dumped on top of her, as they needed her bed. they couldn’t even help find a wheelchair to get her out. I had to spend another 30 mins trying to find one. again she wasnt dishcharged with any clear plan.

in the 10 months before she passed, she had no follow-up appointments. except one where they dragged her all the way to hospital to tell her they wouldnt operate on her knee. From then I feel like she gave up.

im really angry that my hard working and very sociable mum was treated so badly for those 15 months and had to watch her essentially fade away. that neither myself, her GP or even getting her MSP involved could persuade the NHS to actually follow up or provided clear care plans for her. Even the thr company providing her oxygen concentrator were give proper instructions.

Anyway i miss my mum terribly, her passing was particularly traumatic as i had to try CPR in front of the kids. My gran isnt dealing with mums passing very well, i chose to telly gran it was a peaceful passing as i think she wouldn’t cope with what really happened. whilst im privileged to have some wonderful supportive friends, i feel a little bit lost right now.

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Hi Malwilson,
Just heartbreaking. Keep posting on her bec they will become your lifeline like it has mine. People will respond and you will get wonderful support. Small steps each day ok and eventually things will ease a little for you to heal.
Grief is horrible and for me the worst thing in the world.
No right or wrong answers to get through it so grab every little bit of help you can from people you trust and anyone on here
Love Deborah x

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