Mum’s recent passing and still can’t speak.

I know it’s only been a week but just can’t bring myself to talk to friends and my husband. Just keeping it suppressed so I can get through the next few a weeks with all the paperwork and funeral to organise. My sisters and I have cleared my mums clothes, and my mums partner found letters she had wrote to us all which is making me cry just remembering. My brother died suddenly in 2017 and just thinking about this all again hurts my heart. I’m strong, I’m confident and an optimistic person, but it’s all overwhelming at the moment. I spent nearly everyday with my mum since her diagnosis in November 2018, I’ve travelled on this journey with mum on chemo, operations and consultations and now that’s ended I’m lost my way. I know things will get better but the lump in my throat is unbearable :frowning:

Hello, I am so sorry for your loss. When you have been with someone on their end of life journey, and they then die, it can leave a massive gap in our lives. This place is very useful if you cannot speak to people in your real life about the grief you’re suffering with, as you can post here however much you like, and no one will judge you for it, and will instead try and help you to cope.

Dear Mocloro,
Everyone deals with grief on their own personal way and people should respect that. After my dad died, I sort of went on autopilot for a week because there was so much to arrange. I knew there would come a time later where I would allow myself to feel all the emotions and I did tell my sisters that. I did not want them to think I was not grieving, I just needed a clear head. Have you explained to your friends and your husband that you are grateful for there support, but need some space and that you will let them know when you are ready to talk?
Wishing you strength to do all you need to do at this sad time. Please feel free to post as often as you like on here.
Jo

Thanks Jo, I’ve told them all but my cousin sent me a message saying that I’m closing myself off to the world?! I have so much to organise just need to keep focus. My sisters are on board with that as well as my husband just wish everyone else was too.

Thanks, really appreciated for the response.

When you lose someone, you will get a hundred people giving a hundred different opinions. One thing I learnt is to ignore most of the opinions, I had people tell me that I should be grateful, that everyone dies, that at least I have lost a parent and not a child, and so on, for my own sanity I stopped listening to what people had to say, and just tried to focus on what was really important - thinking of my dad, ane helping my mum. So please do not listen to what your cousin is saying, let them say what they want to and just tell them you respectfully disagree.

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Weird how everyone else knows what’s good behaviour, no one knows what I’m thinking.
Thanks - I’m all over the place at the moment, stress-head as my mum would say.

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Exactly, sadly some people think they have the divine right to dictate what your emotions should be, but you don’t need that in your life at this moment, you just need to be able to have time to gather your emotions and do what is best for you, not what others think is best for you.

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