Mum

Losing a parent
21

I cant talk to my husband or friends like i used to with my mum. People think im ok as thats what they see but inside im crumbling. I feel so lost and empty. People say look out for signs from your loved ones ive seen no signs. I feel like o dont want to do anything, dont want to go out. Im dreading my mums birthday in Nov, dreading christmas. I live hour by hour day by day. I keep looking at my mums ashes as i have them in my living room, just think thats my mum in a box thats it she should be here.

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22

I get very jealous when folk still have their parents, but yes when out at supermarkets and I see a daughter with her Mum, it makes me so sad, now Christmas time is coming, everyone will be so happy and I will be total Grinch :broken_heart:

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23

Ohh I totally get it, I spoke to my Mum about everything, I keep asking for signs, but absolutely nothing and it makes me scared that when you die, thatā€™s it and we will never see them again :pensive:

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24

you will get great comfort out of having her jumper to hug, I spray my Mumā€™s perfume on things, so it feels as if she is with me :broken_heart:

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25

I think when folk still have their parents there is no way they totally understand our grief, I have lost both parents now and OMG it feels way different, I never thought I could feel heartache like this and I always dreaded losing my Mum, but nothing has prepared me for this nightmare :broken_heart:

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26

I do , theres two ive found its my go to for a moment :two_hearts: its so hard , a simple thing that occured to me today , mum was a real card person , when you got her one she would read all the words and really absorb fhe pic and all you wrote in it , this year dad gets a card - he juat opens it doesnt read it and just chucks em on the side you could write anything in it and it wouldnt be noted , obviously i ill still do cards, i jut know it wont be received in the same way

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27

My Mum was the same, she loved receiving cards and read the verse inside cards before she bought them :pensive:

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28

Thatā€™s not good you have all that going on as well with your family, mind you my family have all stepped back since Mumā€™s funeral, so even although I havenā€™t fell out with them all, it still feels the same, I totally get you, itā€™s hard to believe they wonā€™t be using their belongings anymore, I need a sign that she is still around me, our houses will never be the same again :pensive:

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29

I know what u mean , we didnt have a finersl mum wanted a direct cremation because she didnt want fake people turning up pretending they cared ,
Which of course means it was all veey difnified and we had a viewing for her but orherwise it was aend her off say goodbye and send her off , i will tell you about a sign i bekive occured , i went to see my mums favourite singer and a white feather came and landed on my toe , it stayed there the whole time until we left despite all the movement - it just flew away as soon as the music stopped ā€¦

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30

Quite a lot of folk are getting direct cremations these days, ohh thatā€™s a lovely sign, that would have gave you comfort :yellow_heart:

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31

It did , the feather was literally stuck to my foot , and just floated off as soon as the music stopped , gave me a good feeling xx

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32

I feel the same im dreading writing christmas cards, i dont feel like putting up the tree or anything. I feel i see more mums and daughters together now since i lost my mum but maybe its because i notice it more now

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33

Me to silly things no matter what it was we had a conversation together

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34

omg me to i go in and spray her room every day with her perfume as feela so nice walking past being able to smell her. How strange we both do the same

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35

I think all mums looked at the verse rather than the picture. ibe still got last years christmas card from my mum so it will be going up this year

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36

Iā€™m not celebrating Christmas this year :pensive:

37

I put my Mumā€™s perfume on her in the hospital and when she was in her coffin, so I just feel so close to her when I smell it, I bought her a big cuddle cushion, so I spray it on that and cuddle it when I need comfort & can also smell it all the time when I walk past it :pensive:

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38

I did mums perfume in the coffin and rhe hospital too , thats a good idea with the cuddle cushion xxx

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39

I canā€™t believe we both did that, I bought her it at Christmas time last year because she had a sore back, I am so glad I got her it, itā€™s so sentimental to me xxx

40

my heart goes out to you, I can relate to everything you are saying, I donā€™t think we will ever feel the same xxx