Hi
I lost my mum, my best friend and my soul mate to a big stroke. She had this in 16th July and was left paralysed diwn her left, couldn’t talk or swallow.
She suffered in hosptial for 15 days until she passed.
I hate myself for this as I feel I should if seen it coming and done something, I miss her so so much and hate the world we live in.
I feel I let her down and she would not like me for it.
We were so close and I use to see her most days, I’m so lost and sad without her
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Please don’t blame yourself. You didn’t know what was going to happen. I lost my mum suddenly and I wasn’t with her when she passed. It was very sudden. Like you I wished I had got her to hospital for help sooner but the doctors told me it wouldn’t have made any difference. She was quite frail and developed sepsis suddenly due to an infection. It’s taking time for me to process this as, like you, she was also my best friend. But remember our mums still love us wherever they are and when we see them again we’ll have so much to tell them. She will always love you and, like me you will carry a piece of her in your heart 
for all time. She will always be your mum and she will always love you. I’ve been told it will get easier but we’ll never ever forget them. Look after yourself
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Yes, I know you’re right.
I’m just struggling so much today, can’t stop crying.
Feel so empty and don’t know how to deal with this pain, other than cry
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I know how you are feeling. It’s ok to cry, shout, scream or do whatever you need to do to cope at any time. The smallest things make me cry - her favourite mug, just getting one plate out for lunch, a TV programme we watched together. You need to grieve in your own way and find a way through this. I hope you have family and friends to help you. You aren’t alone in this - you always have us in the community to talk to. Be kind to yourself and I am so so sorry about your mum
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I have my dad, who’s not very well at all, I look after him which is hard eirk but wouldn’t want it any other way.
I’m single and have no one really to talk to.
They all tgere at beginning then they all slowly disappear.
I be fine for now but hate this life and world at moment
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I hate that you are both struggling. I know the feeling of struggling and guilt as I feel so so guilty for my mums 3 months of pain before she passed. Deep down, I know I did all I could but it’s still destroys me and the guilt breaks me. Sending you both love
Nothing seems to help, I don’t know if I will get through this
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I feel like that. But I am. You have to as well. They would want us too. I feel like giving up most days. But somehow, I don’t know how, I don’t
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Thank you all for your help. I know it will get easier at some point but it’s difficult to see when that will happen. We will get through this because we won’t let our mums down. They were there for us when we needed them and we’ll be there for them now. Love and hugs to all of you and try to keep strong
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It’s a very special bond that Mums have with a child, please don’t blame yourself.
I too had a bond where Mum was everything my best friend and mum too.
Take each day as they come. I could say all the cliques people but prefer to say feel her love it’s in your heart and mind and thoughts.
A mothers love and the bond with her children is the strongest in the world and nature it transcends everything.
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Thank you for your lovely words and for caring. Sending much love
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Hi Gilly
I am so sorry for your loss of your lovely mum. I just want to say that i too lost my mum, its been 18 months now, and i read a lot of forums on here and the common theme is guilt. It doesnt matter if it was expected and they were end of life or if it was sudden. Everyone seems to feel guilt on some way. Either they didnt do enough or theybwatched them suffer.
All i can say is i am a paramedic, there is no way you would have known she was going to have a stroke so you cannot blame youself. My mum died a sudden death at home on her own and we found her. She was a fit and healthy 76 year old. I had no time to prepare and the shock was horrific. I feel cheated that i didnt get time with her at the end, but when i see others posts they feel guilty and traumatised in watching them die.
Ive learned that however it happens is not really relevant, we are just all grieving and trying to find a way forward without them.
All i can say from my experience is it does get easier with time, webhave no choice but to accept it as we cannot change it. I did have bereavement counselling after 6 months and itvreally helped.
Be gentle with yourself and chat on here, it really helps as eberyone understands x
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I feel really bad about mum, niw I’ve lost my dad now 3 days ago and I feel I really have let him down, did I do enough to help him through the loss of my mum. Was i there enough, I just don’t know where to turn and I’ve got deal with sorting another funeral out, not sure I’m strong enough.
Feel like my life has ended
Hi @Gillyb55
I am so sorry to hear your dad died, thats terrible after loosing your mum so suddenly and recemlntly too. I know you said before you cared for him and he was unwell, so it must be so hard now to be without him when you spent so much time looking after him.
You need to look after yourself now, and try not to blame yourself, if he was unwell there wasnt anymore you could have done.
Sending hugs