I lost my mum suddenly 2years ago ever since I have some kind of desire to destroy any happiness that comes my way, I have pushed family away and done everything possible to push away the man I love. I dont know how to be happy any more. I wake up hurting every day I just want her back. Trying to hide my grief and move forward like everyone else has seems virtually impossible. I just dont have anywhere to vent, not sure what I’m hoping to achieve i just want to be happy again.

Hi @kim87 so sorry for the loss of your Mum. Have you got anyone you can speak to about how you feel? I think it’s completely normal to push those close to us away when in the thick of grief, I know I can be quite ‘snappy’ with my husband at times since losing my Mum. I lost my Mum to cancer in March, so it wasn’t sudden as such but we didn’t expect her to go quite so soon. If you don’t have anyone to talk to in real life, I hope it helps to talk on here. It has been helping me so far. Have you considered counselling at all? Keep talking and take care x

Dear Kim,
2 years ago today I lost my mum. I loved her dearly and I do miss her very much. Her death was not suddenly, so we had a bit of time to prepare for it. It must have been very hard for you to lose her suddenly. Are you in any way blaming yourself for maybe not having said and done all you would have if you had known? There is no blame, because you could not have known. Do you have children? I have one son, and as a mum all I want for him is to be happy, and I think that is what our mums would want for us. Maybe it would help if you can think of it that way, that she would want you to be happy and to accept the love others want to give you? It is good that you have come to this online community. As you read others stories and responses, I hope that it will help you.