I lost my Mum on the 29th December and even though I’ve known since late October that Mum was very I’ll with her heart failure I have been knocked sideways by her loss. Even though I always knew it would happen one day, natural part of life and all that, I didn’t think it would happen now. I thought she’d live into her late eighties. Not 79. Not in the year of her sixtieth wedding anniversary. I thought she’d see me turn sixty. Mums funeral is this coming Thursday and I’m dreading it. I cannot imagine the rest of my life without my Mum. I don’t even want to live my life now as I feel so empty. Every memory hurts. Every song I hear just highlights my deep sense of loss. Happy songs, sad songs, funny songs. It doesn’t matter. I even had this little voice in my head telling me my Mum wouldn’t be here. A sixth sense. It happened too much. Like I knew. I even had to return a puppy to a breeder. I couldn’t cope with the dear little thing. That was hard because Mum choose her. Said ooooo the white one with black ears sounds nice. But I knew Mum wouldn’t meet her.
I’m lost. Floundering. Alone and scared.
Dear @Hippyshirl
Welcome to the Community. I am sorry to hear of the loss of your mum.
Do you have family and friends that can support you? Have you had a chat with your GP to see if they can help you.
Please do not feel you are alone, struggling and scared. There is help and support here under the topic Losing a Parent which will connect you to other community members who have experienced what you are going through.
It would be good for you to talk to someone and the following organisations are available.
Shout is a free text messaging service available 24/7 on 85258 for anyone who is struggling to cope.
Cruse Bereavement have a helpline on 0808 808 1677 (available today 10am - 2pm)
Samaritans on 116 123 for free
Please continue to reach out and take care.
Pepsi
Thank you. I’m trying to look after myself and reaching out.
You are welcome @Hippyshirl. Please let us know if there is anything we can do for you. You can email online.community@sueryder.org any time.
I do hope all goes well for the funeral on Thursday. Take care.
Pepsi
Hi Hippyshirl,
I’m sorry you lost your mum recently. I lost my mum to a sudden brain haemorrhage 2 and a half years ago aged 74.
I have all the same feelings as you do. Thought she would live into her late eighties/early 90s, thought i would be at least 60 when she died ( I was 48) and she died on the day of her 50th wedding anniversary.
That part won’t get better. What does get better is the desire to live. I wanted to die when my mum died and I cared about nothing. But 2 and a half years on and I want to live.
I try and find happiness in little things. A good tv drama, a book, being with my daughter and a large glass of wine.
Things will get better, but it will take time.
Cheryl x
Thank you, I feel like I don’t want to go on but your reply has given me hope.
I’m pleased. It’s an awful time. Things will never be the same again but they do become more bearable x
Hi hippyshirl, I’m sorry you lost your mum, I lost my mum last july, and like you have been having the same feelings. That empty feeling is there still every day , but after 5 months I am learning how to live with it. I will never stop missing my precious mum, but am coping better.