Hi people, just putting it out there, I lost my dearly loved mother 10th June 2022. It was sudden a mere 12 hours.
I couldn’t get there before she passed. I was on my way via train, which was cancelled so I had to get a taxi for 2 hours. To which 10 minutes into my sister called and said she’d passed away. I felt terrible, I couldn’t get there any quicker.
I’ve not really had time to grieve during all this time. I had to help my dad with planning funeral, finances etc. I returned home Tuesday, but I feel physically sick and almost daily drained . I just don’t know what to do with work, I’m due back this Saturday but I feel I need more time, but also worried financially
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Hi @Adz8579 , I so sorry you lost your mum. Don’t feel guilty you didn’t get there in time, she knows you would have if humanly possible. She wasn’t alone your dad and sister were with her at the end.
Our son didn’t get to the hospital in time when his dad died so I can relate to how you are feeling.
As for work, don’t go back until you feel you are ready, go to see your GP and say you are not coping they will sign you off work. You should still then get paid which will stop you worrying about finances.
Just give yourself time, there is alot to deal with as your dad will need support, but importantly be kind to yourself.
Sending love
Debbie X
Thank you debbie57
I just can’t process it. I know she’s gone but since I left dad to come home, I’m just so alone. No family nearby, and I’m meeting my GM today, I’m not ready to go back, but as live alone don’t have the choice. SSP wouldn’t help as I’ll be financially struggling. I don’t know what to do
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Doesn’t your employer make your wages up to normal level on SSP. Just wait and see what your GM has to say.
It’s very early days for you but speaking to your doctor might help, or counseling, or just phoning Cruse they are very good at listening. There is even citizens advice for helping you with finances or anything you might be entitled too.
We are all here for you just keep reaching out.
Sending a big hug 
Debbie X
Hi,
I’m so sorry for your loss. My mum passed away unexpectedly on the 12th June 2022 so we are both still in the very early stages of grief.
Your mum would of known you would of got there if you could, so don’t feel guilty about that, there’s nothing you could possibly do.
My dad lives in Spain so could only come over for a few days after it happened, it’s tough not being near but they are always at the end of the phone.
I went back to work on Saturday and it’s done me good, kept me busy but of course everyone is different. Speak to your GM and see how they can support you, if you aren’t ready you’ll only make it worse. Like Debbie said have a look at Citizens Advice to see how they can help.
This website has been a great support as we all know what we are going through so don’t hesitate to post.
Look after yourself.
Lucy x
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