Hi I don’t really know how to do this because I don’t let people know how I feel ever but I lost my mum on 17th of may 8 days after her 71st birthday. And I really don’t know how to get through this I’m finding it so hard I really need my mum and I feel so ashamed because I know other people are going through worse things than this but I can’t get past it I feel like a kid but I’m 47 and I cry alone every day because I can’t let my partner and grown up kids know how I feel I just don’t want to be here anymore without her

Hello @Kelly75, thank you for bravely sharing how you’re feeling - it is a big step to take. I’m so sorry for the loss of your mum.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to point you in the direction of our Losing a parent category. This space is for people who have lost their parents, and you will find many other members who understand some of what you’re going through.

Your loss is so recent, and your grief is still so raw. It can be tough to let our family see how we’re truly feeling, but I would encourage you to reach out for support. Our Online Bereavement Support can help you. It includes free bereavement counselling, our Grief Guide and our text service. Please do think about reaching out for more support right now. You deserve to be heard and supported.

Take care - you are not alone,


Dear Kelly, I’m so sorry for the loss of your mum. Please don’t feel ashamed of feeling like a kid and needing her. I feel exactly the same about my mum who died in 2020, and I’m 64 now. I have no family, live alone, retired and even my kindest friends seem to be frustrated that I haven’t moved on by now. I’ve found some of the posts in the Losing a Parent section help to reassure that it’s ok to feel the way we do, and we should not feel we have to grieve according to anyone else’s expectations. I feel that I don’t want to be here without my mum too, but I guess I know that, if she knew that’s how I felt, she would be upset, so I try not to dwell on it and just try to get through the days, hoping that, whatever I achieve would make her glad or smile. Hope you can do the same, and just a thought but maybe your partner and grown up kids would be ok if you let them know how you’re feeling? As your mum was precious to you, so must you be precious to them, and they would maybe understand? I hope you can share your feelings with them sometime. I can only think, we must keep remembering happy, funny and precious memories of our mums to help ourselves in what seem like very dark times… Sending you hugs and hoping it will get better for you with time xx

Thankyou for taking the time to reply to my post and I’m really sorry for your loss because I know how hard it is . Sending hugs to

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Thank you for replying too @Kelly75, and the virtual hugs, much appreciated. Day at a time, little steps I guess …. take care xx

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@Kelly75 it’s ok to feel the loss of your mum deeply whatever age you are. And it’s ok to show it, to show that she was precious to you, she really mattered and you miss her madly. I miss my mum, it’s been a year and I have better days and worse days still, but I know she’d want me to treat myself kindly and get enjoyment where I can on the better days. Thinking of you x

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Thankyou and sorry for your loss I know she would be really angry with me but I’m angry at her sometimes as well I just want one day where I don’t feel broken and I afraid that days never going to come .