Mum wasn’t poorly. Nothing. She was fit. Busy. Active. Last Wednesday. Found her gone on bathroom floor. She was 76
I’m devastated. I’m numb. My kiddies coping but I’m struggling. Me and my sister found her. She wasn’t ill. we have no idea why she’s gone. We should get results Wednesday. I’m a mess



I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your Mum. This sounds like a devastating experience and has left you with lots of questions. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

  • Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief

  • Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS

  • Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,

I want to talk to her

Want to know she’s ok and it didn’t hurt

I want to see her. Not like I found her

It’s just not fair



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I lost my mum nearly 3 weeks ago. She hadn’t been ill, I had been shopping with her the day before. She woke up in morning and needed the toilet. She then told my dad she didn’t feel well and collapsed on the landing. My dad called my brother who came to help get her up. They managed to get her to the bed whilst awaiting ambulance. My dad gave her CPR, but to no avail. An air ambulance doctor arrived but her heart had stopped for 6 minutes. He then came back and said she had passed. She was only 72. We had to wait for a post-mortem which showed her aorta had ruptured and she had bled to death. There was nothing anyone could have done. She told us all that she loved us before going unconscious. The pain is absolutely unbearable. So quick with no time to say goodbye. WHY DID IT HAPPEN


So sorry for your loss @SLBMCD and @Julia5903
My mum passed 5 months ago and I found her collapsed in her flat late one Monday night. An image and experience I don’t know how I will ever get over. Sudden loss, when your mum doesn’t seem ill, I think can be some of the hardest grief to bear. It leaves us with so many unanswered questions. My mum was only 70 and although I am grown up with grown up children, I feel like a hole has been ripped from me.

What I will say is this community has lots of great people who share in their own grief, challenges and provide a perspective to show you are not alone. I have only been reading here for a week or so but it has helped me a bit to know my feelings and emotions are not just me. I wish you all the best and I hope you have some supportive family or friends to call upon to help you in this most difficult time.


I agree totally, sudden loss is really one of the most difficult. Not being able to say goodbye or all the things we would have wanted to tell our mums but couldn’t. No last kiss, hug, I love you. The earth shattering shock, panic, the trauma, the flasbacks… it’s just the worst. I’m still struggling 9 months down the line, but have found this forum to be a lifeline.
Sending love and strength to us all in this situation.xx


So sorry my love. Heartbreaking

I totally understand how you are feeling

Hugs to you all xx

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Thank you so much

We have had the report back and it was chest infection / COPD

She didn’t say she was poorly

Definitely said nothing about COPD. She can’t have known as I’m sure she would have told us. As my dad passed away from COPD

Just finding her like we did was awful :cry:


Thank you so much xxx.

I just want to know she didn’t suffer.


Thank you. I just can’t get my head around it. She was active and busy. Didn’t have a cold or anything :sob:

Love yo you too.

It’s just an awful feeling

Hugs to all of you out there going through this


I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s the worse pain someone can ever feel. We’re going to see my mum tomorrow at funeral parlour. Still unsure if I can go in there :heart:

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Thank you so much for your kind words, and I’m so sorry to hear that you lost your mum suddenly too! It truly is the most unbearable pain. So many unanswered questions, and I feel so sorry for my dad who is absolutely lost without her. They were married for 54yrs and were with each other 247. I am dealing with his pain as well as my own :sob:


Hugs to you too

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Sending you hugs. They say it helps. Hope it does. Under the circumstances I think I will have to do the same. But this like you I’m unsure still

Just be there for each other. Hugs xxxx

It’s such a difficult decision but I don’t want not to and then regret it either. Sending you lots of love

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Totally agree xxx

I had no intentions of seeing my mum two months ago at the funeral directors, but I did want to just be there. However when I got there, the veil was over her face and the funeral director said did I want to see her. I changed my mind and said yes. I was on my own. I was so very pleased I did. Just looked fast asleep. I spent about 15mins with her, just chatting and kissed her. I felt so much better than I could have ever thought. The funeral was the next day and I am sure seeing her really helped me get through the funeral. She would have been so proud of me. x