My mother was killed 3 weeks ago, buy a hit and run driver. She got off the bus. Waiting to cross the road. The car was doing 50 in a 20 zone. At the time of the accident I was calling her mobile. Mum did not answer which I thought was strange. I kept on calling and texting. I ended up calling the police. They did a welfare check. My sister rang me and told me mum was killed that afternoon. I am hurting so much. I do not see the point in going on with my life. My wife has been great. Also Iam suffering from depression and anxiety and might have autism as well. My mum was 70 years old. I hate feeling like this but I just can’t cope anymore. I just mope around the flat or I sit outside and just watch the world go by. I do not want to be here anymore.
Please ask your doctor for help. It is so upsetting for you to feel like this. There must be someone who can help you get through this.
Small steps each day
Thanks for you’re message. They gave me a weeks supply of sleeping tablets. That’s it.
Oh goodness what a shock for you. I am so sorry reading your post this morning.
3 weeks is no time at all and it’s still so raw for you.
I lost my mum suddenly 6 months ago and I still find it hard to get my head around. So I completely empathise with you!
I don’t have anything I can say that will ease the pain, I just wanted to let you know that you’re not on your own and you’re in the right place.
I often write to my mum and read books about the after life it provides me with a little bit of comfort x
Aw no way that’s not enough support. The problem is GPs just don’t have enough time to discuss things fully when you get an appointment with them.You need specialist help to heal from all this trauma.Thatscthecrradon I owe this site so much because it was a lifeline to me when I lost my mum and still is an almost daily part of my life. I get comfort from reading other posts and replying to those with any help advice or support that I can.
Ok so now you know you have to return to your doctor and say you have finished the tablets and need more help and ask for counselling information.Thatvwayvyouvhavecstartedvthe process.Even if you have to wait months it has made you make a positive start.And even if it took months for you to see someone any help will always be beneficial.
In the meantime keep posting on here.Make it a focus of your morning ,afternoon and night routine. I found great comfort in checking for any replies and it didn’t matter what people replied with because I was just so thankful that people replied.Sounds daft I know but the loneliness of grief especially when you exhaust all talking with family members can be so draining.Itcwas Great to communicate with people who understood from experience.
Try to have a small focus for each day.Thats what I eventually did to help me crawl myself out of the big black hole. One of my targets one day was to make a cuppa as I hadn’t eaten or fone much for days except stay in bed and cry.What a state I must have been in. I then built up to 2 and then 3 things on my list and so on.Do simple things like go for a short walk near your flat so if it all gets too much you can quickly go home, relax listening to a song, watch a film, anything you can think of. By doing the is you will be building up your strength and wellbeing and you will find the rawness of it all starts to ease.
Write about what have done bec it will help other people on here. No one will judge you .We are all just trying to survive so any little help we can offer each other will always be appreciated.
Thinking of you
Thank you Deborah for you’re kinds words. I cannot get an appointment till next week. Iam seeing mental health for depression and anxiety. At times I just want to stay in bed. The funeral is next week in Scotland. I miss my mum so much. What annoyed me is that guy is on bail. He should be locked up. And my sisters are fighting over who gets what. I do not like going out as I hate being round people. Iam in black hole most days. One thing Iam happy about I got to see my mum in June. At the time of the accident I was calling her mobile and got no answer. So I think if I did get an answer she might still be here. Most days I just sit in the flat and stare into space. Life at the moment does not mean much to me. Mental health says j need to sit in the sun. I do sometimes but I just do not see the point. Iam not gojng to the funeral as family(uncles) do not want me there. I do not want any trouble at my mums funeral. So I will go up later and pay my own respect.
Aww Michael it’s all so so sad.
Of course go to the funeral afterwards.Your mum wil know you will be there so go. That’s what I believe anyway.I agree don’t have any trouble at the funeral and as you don’t like crowds just make it your mum and you She I am sure would totally understand.
You will get through this trust me.It happens to many people who have loved someone so much.The depression kicks in even when someone doesn’t suffer with depression.i know it did with me .
Yes I remember days and days night after night of just staring into space and at walls wondering how the hell has all this happened and do quick.
You will always think what if I did this or that.I beat myself up with all sorts of things I feel guilty about.Dontcdobit though because you are just hurting yourself even more.
You have to find ways to heal now and look after your own wellbeing. And you can do it. Small steps each day.
Keep going and be proud of how you are coping do far