Thank you for having the courage to write about your feelings and the struggles you are going through. Loss is so hard and none of us have the answers, just our own experiences.
Yours sound as though losing her was very abrupt, which is so difficult to cope with, the feelings, the unanswered questions, the sense of inadequacy. It sounds as though you were close, one day perhaps you will be able to remember everything you did together with more pleasure than pain. I hope so.
I think we just put one foot infront of the other each day and survive.
My mum died suddenly on the 14 June 2019.
It was completely unexpected and although she had suffered a mini stroke 2 weeks earlier, she appeared to have escaped unscathed. She suffered a sudden brain haemorrhage and died the following day.
On the surface of it I ‘cope’
I work full time, look after a teenage daughter and run a home.
But i am utterly and completely lost without my mum. I take each day as it comes and congratulate myself on another day ‘survived’
And I think this is how I will be for the rest of my life.
Just keep going and congratulate yourself for how well you have done so far.