I lost my mum on Tuesday evening and i don’t know how to cope. I am an only child and i was her life and she was mine.
Im hurting so bad and dont know what to do.
3 Likes
Hi Michelle I’m so sorry about to hear about your mum I said goodbye to mine on Saturday and it sounds like we’re having similar feelings - she was my world and I’m just so lost. If you need someone to listen I can I’m not an only child but my sister is severely autistic. I feel hollow without her.
Do you have other support in your family network
Hi thank you for replying. I feel so guilty she went before i could get back to the hospital i only left 1 hour before. Weve always lived together so im lost.
I have a husband but he is just as upset as me and all my aunties are in their 80s and keep trlling me to pull myself together.
I cant stop crying and just lay awake just thinking of my lovely mum. So sorry for your loss as well. x
I think that grief is very personal and it’s not for anyone to say how and when it should be done.
I went home the evening when my mum passed away so I understand the feeling of guilt but you really shouldn’t - - hindsight is a useless thing you had no way of knowing
I really believe that you shouldn’t try to rush through your process if you need to cry then absolutely it’s ok to cry xx
1 Like
Hi. I’m going threw the same my mom passed away in her sleep month today no explanation i tried to re suisitate was to late. We had the funeral last week was lovely send of but no im not busy arranging everything etc its come back and hit me hard. I’m struggling to find any motivation my mood is just low everyday can’t stop thinking about her she was the only parent in my life who did it all. I’m scared of how to carry on without having her there to always keep me on the right path she was always there to help if I made wrong choices etc now I haven’t got that. I think with having to wait 6 months for post mortem results I haven’t got that closure on what took her from me and my children. Seen her the night before my and my sister found her injust wish I would of told her I loved her when I went on the night but we never had that kind of relationship we just always joked with each other. Went to see her at the Chapel was worst experience didn’t even look like her. My partner was supportive for the month now I just feel like a burden and told to just move on get on with life wish it was as easy as that. Till you lose your mom no one knows just how painful and life changing it is. I think you just need to grieve in your own time don’t let people tell you how to do it there not going threw what you are now losing your mom is one of the hardest things to go threw. Don’t keep blaming your self it will eat away at you for as long as u let it you was not to vlaim your mom would of knew how much u loved her she would not blaim you. Keeo your chin up and take the grief day by day as it comes. My mate lost his mom and he says it does get easier after time but no matter what it will always hurt but your learn to live with the change eventually take care
Hi Michelle I lost my mum on the 1st July 22. I’m still finding it very hard to come to terms with I lie awake at night just thinking that now I’m all alone in the house. I was her carer for the last 3 years. Dad died in 2019 we had each other to help us come to terms with that. My only sister died 2011.
The funeral isn’t till 3rd August so still got that to face.
And then there her affairs to sort I don’t think I’m strong enough. But I know she would want me to carry on.
1 Like
Hi Bigal
Im so sorry for your loss. Its just so hard, I’ve napped on and off throughout the night but now I’m wide awake as i had a dream about mum and cant stop crying now.
Our funeral is the 12th August and i dont know what im doing i just dont want it to be real.
Event keeps saying you are your mothers daughter and you are strong but I’m not mum was thr strong one. I just want to go and be with her i dont see any point in being here without mum. x
1 Like
Thank you for replying. I just cant make any sense of this just why? I cant do this i really cant, i just want to my mum x
1 Like
Aww bless you @MichelleY it’s traumatic isn’t it, lost my Mam my best friend 6 weeks ago, she was my life I was her carer for the past 3 years. I was actually in Mexico when I lost her, she wanted me to go on holiday and was so pleased I was going. I sorted all her care out with my siblings and then 3 days before coming home she got really poorly. I tried to get home in time, we took 3 flights to get back but I was too late. My heart is broken and I carnt get over that I wasn’t there for her. The pain is unbearable when you’ve lost your Mam, I will never be the same person again 
I feel for you so much we just need to try look after ourselves and keep strong as we know our Mams would want us to be. Pm if need any support
1 Like
I feel you my darling my mum passed away on the 3rd of July her funeral was Wednesday it was just me and my mum against it even though I have a sister she is disabled doesnt process things like us and is quite frankly a cow and my dad well there’s another story he never helped her or did anything for her neither of them have been any help to me or support I’m so lonely I need my mum mums always know how to make things better loosing your mum is pain like no other
1 Like
I know how hard it is I am struggling too. But truth is they would want us to carry on our lives not be depressed and feel like we can’t carry on. I have children myself so I know how I deal with my grief now is going to reflect on them when there older and my time comes so I need to set that example. Just take all time you need to grief just don’t let the grief take over your life your mom would want you to carry on and life your life. Life is to short and let’s be real no one knows when there time is up
1 Like
I really am having sleepless nights. I just lay there thinking how am I going to pay for the funeral.
No savings and I’m on my own now mums gone.
I even did something I thought I would never do and that is to set up a GoFundMe appeal to try and raise the funds but it’s stalled and no donations for days. Just don’t think I’m strong enough to cope with it all.
1 Like
Bigal, If you are finding it different paying for the funeral have a look at the link bellow. Also, ask perhaps for info at the CAB and the Martin Lewis site. There may be benefits available.
2 Likes
You can set up a payment plan what I have had to do my moms funeral cost me 6k which has set me back with having 5 children myself has been a struggle but I just wanted the best I could give her after everything she’s done for me my whole life. Your find a way threw it your stronger then you think. When my mom first passed away I struggled to find the strength to carry on lay in bed everyday no motivation trying to work out in my head why. Thing is no one knows when your times up and your mom would want u to live your life not down and depressed I knownits hard I struggle every day with her nothing being here you just have to find the strength and carry on
1 Like
Thanks everyone.
1 Like