Hi there. I lost mum two weeks ago. It’s her funeral next week and as we get closer to it I’m absolutely dreading it. My OCD is in overdrive and the slightest thought of going is absolutely destroying me. I keep dreaming of her. Wanting to help her. Not wanting to be left behind. I don’t know how to do this
I’m so sorry about your mum, @Annabell. You’re not alone; sadly many of our members have lost their mums and will understand some of what you’re going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. In the meantime, you might want to read our page on how to cope with grief. It can walk you through how you’re feeling and give you some ideas on getting through the next hours, days and weeks.
It might also be worth having a chat with your GP if your OCD is getting harder to manage, as they may be able to offer you some extra support right now.
Please do keep reaching out and take care,
Seaneen
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Hi I totally understand what you’re going through, I lost my mum in January but I am really struggling at the moment especially with my ocd.
If you need a chat, you can message me
Abi
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Oh goodness I’m sorry you’re going through this too. It’s so painful isn’t it?? How does your OCD manifest?? Mine is cleaning. I literally haven’t stopped washing and cleaning. Here if you need to talk too x
Mine is overthinking all the time but the cleaning also pops up occasionally. It is really horrible. Some days I think I can’t cope and the ocd makes this a lot worse x how has your day been?
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Hi I lost my mum too in December- I’m more intrusive thoughts and overthinking but can’t get myself to do anything I used to do. I used to go the gym, run and be generally pretty active but I’m struggling to do anything useful. Obviously got through the funeral a month ago too so I’m happy to chat if you need it x
I’m sorry to read about your mum’s passing. I understand how much it hurts. I lost my lovely mummy in November and grief is hard. I find that writing my mum a letter in my journal helps for me. Di you have any coping strategies.
I’m sorry you’re going through this too. I’m cleaning a lot but I’m also feeling so very tired all the time. It’s like I’m running on empty. I’m also having very vivid dreams about mum. I don’t even know where to start with those x
Oh goodness I’m sorry you’re going through this too. It’s so incredibly hard isn’t it??? I’ve actually found myself still sending mum messages to her phone. It’s so silly but I feel like maybe she can still see them?? I did frighten myself the first time as her partner has her iPhone now and obviously had it turned on… made it look like she was online 
I’m cleaning. A lot!! My room in particular has never been so clean. I’m spending most of my time in my room. I just want to sleep but when I do, I dream of her. It’s a vicious circle
Thank you so much for that. I’m sorry you’re going through this too. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. It’s facing the funeral that I’m dreading right now. I just don’t know how I’m going to do it but at the same time I want to be there for my brothers and my children. I just feel so conflicted on my feelings all the time
I think however much you plan for the funeral it will be whatever it is at the time. I’d played it all out in my head but in the end I completely lost control which is very out of character. I had some of my close friends there who just looked after me in the end. I definitely recommend trying to have someone there who’s just there for you and can watch out for you and your kids. In the end it was just all a blur to be honest and just one small part of this huge ball of grief. I think I felt slightly better for a few days after it was done.
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Sorry for your loss, it’s horrible loosing a parent, you will get through her funeral, and after will feel a slight relief you’ve sent her off to be at peace. I lost my father last March his funeral was good, lost my mother last May, hers was awful, stressful, and extremely emotional. I then lost my young brother in December past and that was horrendous!! But I’ve survived 3 Funerals, getting on with my loss, day by day, it’s not easy. I still breakdown, in this new year, particularly when I’m reflecting on my loved ones journeys end!! You will surprise yourself how strong you can be!! Take care xx
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Oh my gosh I’m sorry so sorry. I can’t begin to imagine the pain. Thank you so much for the advice. I feel knots building up in my stomach. I do think after the funeral I will be able to grieve myself in my own time. Right now it’s so much to deal with. It’s all consuming x
I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s a private funeral and my ex husband has been invited. He has been a tower of strength to be honest. He’s helped me with so much throughout and he’s been so good with our kids. I think if I lean on anyone on the day it’s going to be him. I just can’t imagine life without mum right now x
Yeah definitely get him to have eyes on your kids then you can just go with whatever the day brings. You definitely start to grieve differently after the funeral. It just as hard but in different ways. Going back to work has been horrendous and people have dropped off and some expect me to be normal which I can’t do. I still can’t believe I’m having to do any of my life without my mum. I would be with her a lot in the school holidays (I’m a teacher) so this week is tough. But one day at a time you do. Even the days where I’ve completely fallen apart and there’s been a lot of those for me. Sure there still will be. But sounds like you still have lots to keep going for. Lean in to that when you can.
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Thank you so much for the advice. Again, I’m so sorry you’re going through this too. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone at all xxx
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We had my mother’s funeral on Monday and although I fell apart I took comfort from people and felt the love for her. You will get through it for her. I was the most exhausted I have ever felt the day after but I do feel slight relief as it was so consuming. Hope it can go as lovely as possible and let people help you best they can 
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I’m so sorry for your loss. I had a little moment this morning. I was thinking about the funeral and I just thought about seeing her coffin. That thought alone took my breath away. It literally had a physical reaction. I just broke down saying I couldn’t do it but my children yet again held me up and spoke with me. They are angels on earth xx
My mum never had a funeral. She had a pure cremation thingy. She lived in Cyprus with my dad who has gone downhill health wise since. It’s all worrying me getting in top of Jr mow
I found it hard with funeral to try and get things right but I know she would have loved anything I did. I found the funeral beautiful it gave hope. I had a gush of strength that I know was from my nan. There was a candle that kept flickering rapidly Mayb that was her. It was nice to see her old friends and reminisce about how lovely she was and they said how much she loves me as she always spoke about me to them. I got to say a message that felt as though she was listening about how much I love her.
Grief is a natural process and happens to us all which is sad. I wish I didn’t have to experience it so soon and could have shared more moments. If such love can be created it will continue. If you didn’t feel sadness you wouldn’t be able to feel true happiness.
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