My 1st Birthday Without My Beloved

My darling Mark passed away at the beginning of December.
Today is my birthday and I am missing him so much not being here to celebrate it with me and spoil me rotten - 20 birthdays of fun, surprises and love and kisses.
Last year’s birthday was marred by us both having Covid but we even enjoyed being poorly together!
I have had a quiet day, as I wanted, and some lovely cards and gifts and steak and chips to look forward to for tea with my son.
All I want is Mark’s birthday hug and kiss and his card on the mantlepiece. We would usually have lunch out and Colin the Caterpillar cake for tea. His gifts were always chosen with great thought and care and I treasure them.
I dreamt about him last night for the 1st time - sitting in our garden smoking a cigarette, deep in thought as he often was. Was he swnding me his birthday love and wishes - I hope so.


@Markswife Thinking of you today. There is nothing I can say to make anything better except just hug your memory bear and close your eyes, let him do the rest. Hugs xx


Sending you love as well @Markswife
Nothing makes these days any easier but at least know we are with you.
Karen xxx


What a mix of beautiful memories and raw emotion. The rollercoaster never ends does it. I have found the “first” of everything so bizarre.

Enzo & I celebrated both St Dwynwens and Valentine’s Day. When he died on Feb 7th the flowers were still in the house. We said our final goodbye on Feb 21st.

Unbeknown to me he had arranged flowers for me - they duly arrived on Valentine’s Day and again on the 24th Feb for my birthday. Joy, pain and heartbreak in equal measure.

Try to remember that of all the women in this world, Mark chose you to love and cherish.


@Angelalouisa that must have been such a mix of emotions. My younger daughter thought she would help me when it was Valentine’s Day by copying her Dad’s writing from an old card on her printer and sticking it to another card so he still sent me one. It made the day harder actually as I’d intended to ignore what day it was but it was done with love so I had to be pleased.


Try to remember that of all the women in this world, Mark chose you to love and cherish - what a lovely thought, @Angelalouisa - thank you.
We were fortunate to actually choose each other twice. We met at school and went out for about 18 months before Mark went to London to work and distance parted us. Following the death of my 1st husband (yes, I’ve already had my heart broken after 7 years of marriage) Mark and I met up again by fate and had the fortune to spend 20 blissful years together - ours was a true love story - like many of us who loose the love of our life.


Hi it was my birthday on Sunday my 3rd without my husband . It felt worse this time I think only now the realisation that he is gone forever is hitting home. I just got through the day as best I could as it was Mothers Day aswell it was a double celebration but really did not feel like celebrating .


Oh, bless her for trying :heart:
It is so hard isn’t it. No one knows what to do or say.

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