My daughter passed on the 9th October. She was only 22. I feel like im going crazy. I miss her so much. Some days I feel like she’s not gone and she will come home later. Then other days I just cry. How do I cope? I honestly feel that I could end my life now. But I have another daughter who needs me.
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Hi @Georgie11,
I’m so sorry to hear about your daughter - that is devastating and how you’re feeling is completely understandable. You’re not alone. You might want to connect with @MoBe, whose daughter died when she was 21. There’s also a really supportive thread for members who’ve lost adult children here.
It sounds like you’re looking for support and I’m glad that you’ve been able to share how you’re feeling with us. It is very normal for people who are grieving to feel a bit lost and not know where to start.
We know that a lot of people experience suicidal thoughts when they are grieving, and it is often about wanting the person who has died back or life to go back to how we know it. We have a video about it here which you might find helpful:
There is lots of other support out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.
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If these thoughts of suicide become overwhelming, please call 999 or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.
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You can call 111 and choose the mental health option to speak to a trained mental health professional (England, Scotland and Wales only)
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Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.
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Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text SHOUT to 85258 and talk to them about anything.
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You can find your local NHS urgent mental health helpline here.
You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.
You deserve care and support so please do get in touch with one of these services.
Take care,
Seaneen
It’s been nearly four months since I lost my 23 year old daughter and I still feel very much as you describe. I still expect to hear her come bounding through the front door, shout up the stairs to me or plonk herself on the sofa.
Every day is difficult and some are much harder to bear than others. I’m having some really difficult days right now where I can’t stop crying. I miss her so much it’s overwhelming me. I also have another daughter, she’s only 12 so I have no choice but to get out of bed for her but if I didn’t have her, I doubt I’d be here now.
This pain is unbearable and although I can’t offer any real comfort or wise words, I do understand and hear you xx
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Thankyou so much for your reply. I really appreciate it. I am so sorry to hear about your daughter too. To know someone is feeling the same as myself makes me realise some of the thoughts I am having are not wrong to have. I just can’t see me ever feeling anything other than angry and destroyed. I had a life That was amazing and now I’ve got this. I don’t want this life I want my old life back. The thought of christmas coming up just fills me with dread and panic. My daughter adored christmas. It was her favourite time of the year.
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Honestly, at times I’ve felt like I’m going mad but reading some of the other parents posts, some of who are much further along, describing experiencing similar to me has made me realise I’ve not lost the plot.
My daughter loved Christmas too - she would’ve had the tree up in October if I’d let her! I can’t face it this year and although I don’t want to let my younger daughter down, we’ve agreed to keep it low key. I can’t stand the thought of getting through Christmas and new year without her, I’ve started to have bad anxiety and panics at the thought.
I keep thinking that this time last year life was good, I would never in a million years have believed that this would happen. I’m angry at everyone and everything, I’m envious at my friends and their whole families, I’m avoiding going out and I’m rubbish at reaching out for help. I hate who I’ve become 
I hope you have good support round you and use it x I’m a bit of a hypocrite saying that because I’ve become a bit of a hermit instead of letting people help me but I do know it’s important x
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Hello @Georgie11 I am so sorry you are here, trying to make sense of it all in world that stopped turning. Looking for something, anything, to take away the pain.
I lost my beautiful girl just over 2years ago, she was 21, she was and still is my world and now I am facing my third Christmas without her.
Like you I still cannot believe she is gone and every day I find a new way to grieve for her because grief isn’t one thing. I am constantly amazed at how much she filled my life because her loss has impacted every fibre of my being. So much of me was made up of her.
The first year is unbelievably hard and it doesn’t matter what anyone says or does nothing will take this pain, the pain doesn’t go but it becomes part of who you are.
I also have another daughter, I know the pain of wanting to go but having to stay.
If you want to message me I will try to help, sometimes just knowing there is someone else going through this pain and unbearable loss helps xx
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