I lost my mum 3 weeks ago, my mum was my world. My mum had a massive stroke 5 years ago which left mum disabled she could only use her left arm. Mum couldn’t walk, talk, do anything for herself. Mum was so mortified as before her stroke she was so outgoing, loved life, and especially loved chatting to people. Mum could talk for hours to everyone. Then we found out mum had lung cancer, we were devastated!!! We tried radiotherapy but didn’t work, mum couldn’t have an operation as she was too poorly from her stroke. I looked after mum for 5 years with no help from carers(which was my choice) . I had my sister and dad to help when I wasn’t there at night, as mum needed 24 hour care. Me and mum went everywhere together, I passed my driving test at 41 so me and mum could go on adventures. I spent every single day with mum . 17th of December last year 2024 they said there’s nothing more they could do for mum. Mum gradually became more weaker, her appetite grew smaller, she didn’t want to go out anywhere anymore, didn’t want to talk to people. Mum was giving up now, and I didn’t blame her as she had been through enough!! Mum passed away at home with me, my sister and dad. It was heartbreaking seeing the person who you love with all your heart die in front of you.
Mums at peace now, no more suffering and pain free. Love you mum always
Thank you for bravely reaching out. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. You are not alone. I’m not sure if you’ve read some of the posts on our Losing a parent category. But there you can connect with other members who are living with grief after losing a parent.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support to you. In the meantime, you might find these Sue Ryder resources helpful to read.
Our Losing a parent page talks through some of the emotions you may be experiencing
Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
I can relate to your story so much, my mum had a severe stroke she lost use in her left arm , couldn’t walk , or eat because her swallow muscles didn’t recover, she lasted eight weeks.
I was mum’s carer for years we used to go everywhere together she walked with a frame , we laughed and cried together, but in the end I sat with her every day for eight weeks holding her hand and your picture reminded me of those moments. It’s heartbreaking to lose your parents I feel life will never be the same again. We lost dad 2 years ago on New year’s day.
It’s been 4 months since mum and I’m not looking forward to Xmas
I’m so sorry for your loss I hope you find the strength to look after yourself and remember the good times with mum , one day at a time is such a true saying, and talking to others helps you to release your feelings.
Thank you for writing back, I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. Our memories of our mothers are very similar. I know Christmas won’t be the same without mum. Mum loved Christmas it was her favourite time of the year.Talking to others have really helped me. I’m also going to have counselling as mums passing was very traumatic.
Hello @Lozza1982 thanks for your post.Ive just seen now as I joined here earlier this evening for the very 1st time.
Christmas must of been a real tough one for you and having lost my mum to a bowel obstruction that lead to other complications the Christmas just gone was extremely hard.It was our 1st Christmas with mum (other than during lockdown during covid where it was canx.).
I do feel for you and there’s nothing to ease the pain at times..just ones mind is flooded with memories when she was alive.
As 2026 is now happening May you find strength and comfort as you miraculously get through each moment of everyday.
It’s a heart breaking point and understand how you feel. I lost my mother as well. She came back from a party kicked off her shoes and feel back onto the floor. The onset of parkinsons and dementia mean’t no recovery and therefore we tried to do it intravenously but her body refused. It was horrific but that morning I collected some garden flowers to take to the hospital and a dragonfly passed me by. Since that day I always look at this beautiful colour insect (as wings vary in colour) and that gave me light whilst picking the beautiful home garden flowers which I was about to deliver to the hospital and which made me proud despite the day that I had to face being significant and one which I would have rather not met because of the death of my mother.
It’s been 7 weeks now and I still miss my mum so much, every morning I say good morning to her and every night good night. My heart breaks everyday thinking about her, all the things we did together, all the memories I have of her. I still can’t look at photos of mum as I crumble and cry my eyes out. I know it will get easier but when?
I return to my old job tomorrow and I’m dreading it as the place will remind me of mum so much. I am a care practitioner, so seeing poorly people etc.
. 17th of December last year 2024 they said there’s nothing more they could do for mum. Mum gradually became more weaker, her appetite grew smaller, she didn’t want to go out anywhere anymore, didn’t want to talk to people. Mum was giving up now, and I didn’t blame her as she had been through enough!! Mum passed away at home with me, my sister and dad. It was heartbreaking seeing the person who you love with all your heart die in front of you.
