My beautiful mum

I lost my mum on 12 March 2020 just 5 weeks ago
We had to have a post Morton due to the sudden passing , it came back as a on Detective underline heart disease which is hereditary so I am very worried. It is very hard to cope with the loss of my beautiful mum who was only 61 years of age my mum had many health issues due to her rheumatoid arthritis but this was not what she passed away from. It was a real shock I had spoken to my mum at 8:30 in the morning of which she passed away she passed away at 10:30 am still quite can’t believe that she has gone. I’m finding it hard to grieve due to this Coronavirus we all have to self isolate and my mum’s parents my grandparents are very old and have health issues so we have to keep away. I feel very much alone I just don’t seem to want to get up or do anything my mum was my life I gave up my job to look after my mum but unfortunately I broke my back two years ago and I have been off work I could no longer care for my mum due to this but I’ve made sure I’ve got round every day to see her. We had a beautiful funeral with just myself my brother and my mum‘s husband. We decided to do a homeBurial and she is buried in her Garden in her favourite spot. This gives me a little hope that she is happy and even in this lockdown I get to see her every day because her husband works and I can go and sit in her garden and be with her. I hope no one else has to go through what I’m going through with losing a loved one/ Parent while this coronavirus is going on it is the most hardest thing I have ever had to do. I have my good days I have my bad days I try to remember all the good things and all the lovely memories I have. It is my 40th birthday soon and my mum always did something very special for me on my special birthday is I know this is going to be an extremely hard day for me But I do know she will be there in spirit with me. Thank you all for taking the time to read this many thanks and remember stay safe keep safe and be kind

Hi Vic2626,

I’m so sorry to read about your mum. 61 is way too young and life just gets more and more unfair.
I lost my mum suddenly last june. She was 74 but very active, funny and full of life. She lived with us and did all my childcare plus most of the shopping and cooking.
She had a sudden massive brain hemorrhage out of the blue and a post mortem was done which also revealed severe heart disease, something none of us had any idea about.
My mum had been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis 15 months earlier and was on a medication called methotrexate which I blame for her death. She was fine before she started on it.
Anyway I cant change what has happened and I have to learn to live without her, but just wanted to pass on my condolences to you and let you know there are many of us on this site who are feeling the immense loss of a parent.
Cheryl x

Thank you
Mum has suffered with R.A for 30 years , she had been in that medication before, but didn’t agree with her , she was picked to start new drug 3 years ago and it was working , she had her life back was doing things she never could have dreamt of .

It’s very hard , I’m very sorry for your loss & thank you for your kind words x

Thankyou. You too.
I will never know what’s to blame. All I know is that mum improved dramatically on the medication than went downhill in the last few months rapidly. But it was only aches and pains, nothing that we thought would kill her.
Keep talking on here with others who have lost their mum. It really helps particularly in this time of isolation x

Hi, I’m so sorry about your Mum. I lost my Mum on the 19th Feb. She was 64 and was fit and healthy. It was very sudden. My step dad phoned and couldn’t talk. I got to the house and the paramedics were trying to save her but couldn’t. Her post mortem came back as a pulmonary embolism from a DVT. She had no signs at all. X

My 6 year old son has crohn’s so is on the same medication as RA. Autoimmune diseases are awful xxx

My friend has lupus and is also on the same medication. She says it makes you feel absolutely dreadful.

We were offered Methotraxate for George but his nurse said it could have horrible side effects. We went for Azathroprine instead but does have increased risk of cancer in teenage boys. He also take a biological medicine called adulimumlab. X

Oh Lisa
That’s horrible, sending my love ,
I thought I was the only one going through it , it just shows we are not alone x

This lock down doesn’t help. We were lucky to have her funeral just before it happened so no restrictions but since then we have been isolated from each other. It just makes everything so difficult. I keep seeing posts and things on the news about people missing their Mum’s and “we’ll meet again” but I won’t see her again xxx

I am so sorry that you are going through this Vik, it is a very bad time in our history. In all my 80 years I have never known anything like it.
I do wish that people would do as they are told and stay indoors. I have heard of home burials but I have never heard of one taking place. Good for you if your mum was laid to rest in one of her favourite spots. I think it is lovely.
My husband’s ashes are in a church until our daughter and son can come and scatter them and probably our grandson will come too. I can’t accompany them because my mobility is very restricted but I do know the exact place where they will be scattered, it is one of our favourite walks when we were courting. (an old fashioned term but it is 63 years ago)
Take care,

Hi, I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my mum on the 14th March, she was 69 and had aggressive cancer (only realised she had it on January 28th!). The days can be very dark, almost as though you have a constant black cloud following you around. I know everyone dies but that was always what happened to other people, not my family! I’m sure you are feeling such sadness, pain, guilt and disbelief. I can assure you that you are not alone. Let’s hope that in time, the pain will lessen but we will always remember our mums with such love. Take care and stay safe.