My best friend left me

So it will be 7years on the 9th April.
My best friend took her own life a few days after her 30th birthday.
Ive not been able to fully greive I guess I’ve been in shock a long time. I feel like I’m the only one out of all my friends that feel this way, no one talks about her anymore and when I do I just can’t stop crying. So I get left alone. When I need someone it would deffo be now…
Like right now this very second. I’ve been on and off crying for ages I couldn’t even tell you how long this has been going on for. It hurts more than anything I’ve ever experienced worse than my m. s pain and I can’t seem to find the happy in my life anymore.
I’ve been suicidal, but I’m too much of a wuss to do it myself… I just wanted to be with her.
At the moment while I have my cat I’m OK I have a reason to stay living… Put on that mask, smile at the world that she’s not a part of anymore.
Why does this hurt so much still. I’m so sad.

Dear @Lindz198

Welcome to the Community. I am sorry for the pain you are going through.

There is no time limit on grief. Everyone reacts differently and copes differently. This is normal and what you are going through is normal.

There is a organisation Sobs (Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide) which contains useful information and you can search to see if there are any support groups in your area.

I would also like to direct you to the Samaritans for someone to talk to and they are available 24/7 on 116 123 for free.

If you have not done so already, I would contact your GP for support and let them know how you are feeling. You are not alone and we are here for you.

Please keep reaching out any time. We are here for you. All of us.

Take care.


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