My best friend is at end of life ,She was given 8 months a few weeks ago but all of a sudden she took a really bad turn for worst and now has a matter of days at most two weeks .I feel selfish as I really don’t know what I am going to do without her ,we talk every day and text constantly .She face timed me tonight from hospital and she looked terrible I was so shocked ( I have been poorly for two weeks so couldn’t go to hospital to see her ) she looked so poorly
I don’t know what I am trying to say ,I feel lost and alone .She is a lovely person and when she first got told she had cancer she cried in my arms saying she didn’t want to die and I said she wouldn’t she would be around for ever ! But how wrong I was I never dreamt it would get so bad , she has a lovely family .
I feel so guilty that I can’t do anything to help her pain and feel guilty cause I told her she wouldn’t die
I am rambling but my heart is breaking
I know that the chances to see her before she passes is low as she is so poorly and her family want to be with her and I get that ,so maybe we will never say goodbye
I know this is due to hit me so hard and I don’t know how to cope with the pain the loss
I know this is how everyone feels and if just one person reads this it makes me feel that I am not alone