My birthday

My wife of 45 years died in Junes 2019 age 67, four weeks after she passed was my birthday. We were very much in love every day of our lives together. I was seeing a bereavement councellor for eight months then COVID-19 struck, my councellor rang to tell me that she could only do phone consultations, I told her she would be very busy with the poor people who have lost their loved ones so she discharged me.
The councellor gave me a warning that as my last birthday was so soon after my wife’s, death that it could hit me as I was so busy with sorting out paperwork etc. My wife was 15 months older than me, this year was my 67th birthday, my councellor was spot on! I went into a really dark place, not only did I lose my darling to vascular dementia 12 months before she passed, Then her physical death, then all the deaths through COVID plus I had to self-isolate due to underlying conditions.
I rang my GP and asked for help, she put me in touch with new councellors, they advised me to contact my original councellor which I did. It helped me tremendously.
I would advise anyone who is grieving to get help.


I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved wife. Dementia is a cruel & sad disease & to watch someone you love suffer is truly heart breaking. Sending strength to you

Thank you for your kind words.

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You are welcome & I’m so sorry I don’t have any words to make it better. I know there are many conversations on other threads where people have sadly lost husbands, wives/partners. You may find them comforting/ helpful. I am grieving the loss of my 22 year old son who passed suddenly in June. My relationship regarding my loss is different to yours however we are both aswell as everyone on this site grieving for someone we love so dearly & miss so very much.
Sending strength and wishing you a peaceful evening.

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Hello Reddragon77, I am so sorry for the loss of your lovely wife. My wife died suddenly which was a huge shock to the me, but waiting for the end to happen would have been so hard for you to deal with. I had a friend who died of vascular dementia and this was very hard on his wife. We used to visit him in the care home and she said she had already lost him months before he passed.
I agree that when a person is suffering from grief it is advisable to get help. I’m glad you found some benefit from your counsellor.
Take care. AL

Thank you for your kind words.