My brother Tom

I lost my big brother just over a year ago. He was an incredible person- he raised half a million pounds for his daughter who needed the money for her cancer treatment, all whilst he was ill. Everyone sees that but he was more than that to me. He was my hero, my best friend, everything. I don’t know how to carry on now still without him.

Hi Amy im sorry for your loss do you have family to turn to or friends ?(i lost my wife she was41 im 57 )have you been to your gp ?dont be a stranger im sure people will come and chat massive hug C\olin

Hi Amy,

I’m so sorry for the loss of your big brother Tom - he sounds like an amazing person. It sounds as though you were really close and it is understandable that it is so hard to carry on without him.

And sorry to hear that his daughter also had cancer - how is she doing now?

I am glad that you have found the Sue Ryder Online Community and taken the step of writing your first post. I hope that it helps a tiny bit to be able to share things here.

This is a good place to get support from people who understand. For example, you could check out this recent conversation between scotslass35 and Drewbr29, who have also lost their brothers:

Feel free to post a reply there if you would like to talk to them.

Have you had any sort of bereavement support since losing Tom? Colin is right that your GP can refer you to support services in your local area. Alternatively, you could contact Cruse Bereavement on 0808 808 1677 or

Hi Colin, Thanks for replying. I have great friends- it’s more difficult with my family as they are going through so much too. I’ve seen my GP and they are helping but it just seems things still aren’t getting better over time. I feel the loss still so acutely. I’m so sorry to hear about your wife- how long ago was it? Seems so cruel when you’re both so young and should have your lives together. I’m hoping chatting to people might help with this. Hugs to you too

Hi Amy my Denise died in march this year on her birthday of all days.Shed been very ill since 2008 i was her carer but she died of something completely different (bacterial meningitis.Chating helps me and others and i dont mind pms if your wanting to do it that way ? .I phone the samaritains a lot (there there for all people in distress ive asked them).This site and samaritains help me because i have no family or friends that bother with me

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