I don’t know if this is the place for me i’ve never joined one of these before but i’m just so confused on how i’m supposed to carry on with life. i lost my brother quite awhile ago in 2023 to suicide but i haven’t been able to move on. i get this overwhelming maternal feeling when i think about it. how can i just move on and why does nobody want to talk about him anymore? I can only imagine how cold and lonely he must’ve felt and it haunts me. i miss him so much and i want nothing more than to tell the world how amazing he was. i feel angry when i think about it but then i just feel sad and dissapointed when i realise it doesn’t matter what i feel when i have nowhere or nobody to redirect it to. it’s so lonely and i miss him. i lost my world, my light, my bestfriend, my role model and my brother all in one. he was only 19 and was so excited to go to university and become a professed. he used to come in and tell me how well his courses were going. i have nothing left behind. i got left nothings . no explanation, no note, no belongings. The entire family just wants to move on. i don’t think i can. christmas feels lonely, birthdays feel empty. i don’t know what to do. i don’t even know if i’m here for the right reason.
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So sorry to hear about your brother. I too have lost a brother and the pain and misery is indescribable. I just hope that one day I shall be able to remember all the happy times without the accompanying pain. I’m sure you will too, but it takes time and has to be lived through. Your brother sounds like a lovely person, and no-one can take away the love you felt for each other. You don’t have to ‘move on’ until you feel ready, and there will always be a corner in your heart where he will live for ever.
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