My dad died unexpectedly while I was backpacking

Losing a parent
1

Hello, I am new to this so excuse how I write but while searching for other similar stories to mine to help me i could not find any. My dad who was my best friend passed away in a road traffic collision while I was travelling through Central America, I had been travelling since early November and he passed away on the 30th January this year. My dad was my entire world, my best friend and my biggest cheerleader all in 1 person. I wasn’t due to come home until around September time and I had to find out over the phone completely on my own on the other side of the world. It took me around 30+ hours to get back to my mum.

It doesn’t feel real that he isn’t here anymore, I think part of that is because my brain still can’t comprehend that I wasn’t supposed to see him until September. I feel like I have to be strong for my mum because it must be so much worse to lose your soulmate but it’s difficult to understand another persons grief.

Sometimes I feel so guilty that I wasn’t able to spend his last Christmas with him or his birthday, but I know he was so happy and proud of me for living my dreams and he always pushed me to travel the world.

I also feel like I won’t be brave enough to go solo travelling again as I am so scared of being far from my family and having to do another 30+ hour journey home. and it feels as though I am the only person in the world this has happened to. I am 22 and my dad was so healthy and young he should have seen me get married and met my future children but this won’t happen anymore. almost 2 months on and the pain just seems to get worse.

Sometimes I have people tell me they can relate because they have lost a parent suddenly from a heart attack or suicide and I feel so guilty because I just can’t help but think that my situation is worse, it wasn’t my dads time to leave us, he didn’t have any underlying health conditions and he didn’t want to end his life, he loved his life and it was been taken away from me and my mum by someone who can carry on living with their parents.

I hope there are other people out there searching to find someone else who has lost someone in this way and I hope knowing they aren’t alone helps in some way <3

2

Hi @mads22,

I’m part of the Online Community team, and I can see that you are new to the community. I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

Losing a parent at such a young age and in such sudden circumstances must be incredibly difficult, especially while being so far from home at the time. The emotions you describe—grief, guilt, and the struggle to process what has happened—are all completely understandable. Many people here have felt similar things, and I hope you find comfort in connecting with others who can relate.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. In the meantime, you may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources, which might be helpful:

You might also want to:

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support. Please know that you are not alone in this.

Take care,
Ben