My dad

It’s three weeks today that my dad passed away, unexpectedly in hospital. I have experienced grief and loss many times but I never realised how hard it was losing a parent. My mum is trying to be brave and not cry and I feel at a loss as to how I can help her, if I can even. I have a 5 year old who is struggling to understand where her grandad has gone. I just want to curl up in a ball and cry but I can’t as I need to be there for my family.

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Hello Helen0512,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. We know how painful it can be when we lose someone we love. I’m so sorry to hear about your dad passing. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,

Alex

So sorry to hear of your loss. I agree that losing a parent is so different to a friend. I wasn’t at all prepared for losing my dad, even after he was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer I figured with advances in medicine he’d still be good for a few more years yet. It took 3 months to take him.
My advice, if I even have the right to give it, would be to try and look after yourself first, only then can you put your energy into helping others. Talk about your loss with your mum though and encourage her to talk to you about how she feels too. My wife has truly been right when she says that talking helps. With your little boy, I’d say go ahead and cry, Let him know you miss his grandad and that it’s okay if he cries too.
Talk together and cry together. Celebrate his life together too and don’t be afraid to talk about funny things and laugh together too. It’s a rollercoaster I admit… but the ride will come to an end soon enough.
Take care.
Scott

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply and for such thoughtful words. I am sorry for your loss and hope each day is getting easier for you.
Best wishes
Helen

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