My Dad

I buried my father last Friday and am not coping at all. I miss him terribly and do not know what to do.

Hello Obaoill,
I’m very sorry to hear that you buried your father recently and you’re not coping at all. It’s completely understandable that you’re feeling this way and that you don’t know what to do. Many others in this community have said similar things following such a significant loss. Do you have friends and family around you that you can speak to about how you’re feeling?

We have an article on our website that might be worth a read through. It talks about coping with bereavement and talks through some of the emotions you may be feeling as well as including some suggestions for how to cope: https://www.sueryder.org/how-we-can-help/someone-close-to-me-has-died/advice-and-support/how-can-i-cope-with-bereavement

Take care,
Eleanor

I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m approaching two years without my Dad now, the longest I’ve ever gone without seeing him.
I would say take one day at a time. Do not think about yesterday nor tomorrow, focus on today. Get through one day at a time. Go to his grave and talk to him. I was at the crematorium all the time after I scattered his ashes, even the gardeners got to know me.
I also opened a file on my computer and wrote letters to him. All the things I wanted to say, all the things I wanted to tell him, even if it had been a programme on tv I wrote them to him. I wouldn’t usually end up in tears at the end, but it made me feel better. I still write to him, and probably always will.
Try and get out once a day. Do you have a dog? My dog has been my lifeline, making me go out everyday and get some air. Even if you don’t have a dog, just go for a walk, even if its to the end of the road and back. Look around you, you will see your Father. I often hear my Father’s footsteps behind me when i’m out, we used to walk a lot together.
He is with you in everything you do. But like I said, one day at a time. It is unbearably hard but you will get there, I promise.
Feel free to message and talk if you wish. Sending you lots of love and hugs xxx

Hi Ebonyuk72
I am sorry for not replying sooner and appreciate your kind, heartfelt, words of support.
Since I have lost my father I am trying to keep myself busy and have a few good friends and a good Partner for support.
Unfortunately I seem to be blocking my partner about my grief for some reason and it is causing problems but I’m trying to fix that.
I’ve done a lot of thinking and I’ve come to a few conclusions.
I’m not going to leg my grief take over my life. My dad wouldn’t want. It’s hard to do but I look back on him with good memories and try to keep the sadness away.
I love the ideas you are using to help your own grief. All good and positive and I hope helpful to you.
I have my father as a phone background and photos of him on the TV but only when I’m real sad do I look at them.
My family has teighened up. My brother and I have become close which never was a thing in the past and we are supporting our mum as best we can.
I hope I am following the right path.
I also hope your grief is easing and thank you honestly for your message of support.
Warm Regards
Peter

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