My dad died 6th September .the day before I came home from my holiday with my husband .i knew he was very weak but still expected to see him again !!! .i can’t bring myself to collet hi ashes since the funeral .my mum has early Altzeimers ,I feel very alone at times !!! .i lost my sister to Cancer 4 years ago and we were sooo close ,I was crying all the time !! .i feel numb and can’t quite let it go with my dad ,it still feel like he isn’t dead not real !!!
Welcome to the Sue Ryder Online Community. I’m so sorry to hear about the death of your dad in September. It is a shame that you were on holiday at the time, but it can be so difficult to predict when the end will come.
I am sorry also to hear that you lost your sister four years ago, and that your mum has Alzheimers - that is such a lot to deal with and it is understandable that you feel alone.
I am glad that you have found this site, as many people find that it helps them feel a little bit less alone to share things with others who have also lost loved ones.
We have just had two other new users join that you might be interested to talk to.
JulieS, who has lost her dad: https://support.sueryder.org/community/coping-death-loved-one/loss-my-dad-my-only-close-relative
Cheryl1, who has lost her mum: https://support.sueryder.org/community/coping-death-loved-one/my-beautiful-mum-died-yesterday
Feel free to reply to their posts if you can relate to what they’ve written.
Do you have any other family members or friends that you can talk to about how you are feeling? Have you had any bereavement support or counselling?
Wanted to say hi and and also welcome you.
Don’t worry about the crying, does you good i think and relieves the pressure and stress. Also don’t worry about collecting your Dad’s ashes, just explain to the undertakers if you cannot cope at the moment and sure they will understand. I had to do this with my Mum recently and just went on a day i felt up to it, quick call to say i was on my way and they were waiting for me. The anticipation was worse than actually doing it. I found i was a lot calmer in myself afterwards knowing i had her at home with me.
Take care of yourself and use this site to chat when needed. I have found it helpful and other posters kind.