My daughter 32yr passed away from metastatic melanoma a month ago today. When does the heartache get any easier?

Hi. I have bought a diary. Someone suggested it after Rachel passed away. I will struggling so much with my feelings. I couldn’t make sense of them they were so intense so I started to write to Rachel just before her funeral. I write down things I remember doing with her what she like what I have done if it’s interesting. It does help to put it on paper. It is probably rather garbled but at least it’s down. I’m trying to remember her childhood and so much is a blank. I have a look a photos to try to prompt any memories and sometimes they do but my memory is awful

Rachel did not ever like to see me sad. If I let tears escape at the hospital she would say " what are you crying for? " I would just day moms being selling. She was so happy most of the time xx

I was indeed. I even found last year’s birthday card from her which I put up in January. It is so nice to have them. I had a tidy up of the siting cupboard -randomly - and found the placement card with Alison on that I had from her wedding to Dave in October 2015. I think it was a sign from Rachel xx