Hi. I have bought a diary. Someone suggested it after Rachel passed away. I will struggling so much with my feelings. I couldn’t make sense of them they were so intense so I started to write to Rachel just before her funeral. I write down things I remember doing with her what she like what I have done if it’s interesting. It does help to put it on paper. It is probably rather garbled but at least it’s down. I’m trying to remember her childhood and so much is a blank. I have a look a photos to try to prompt any memories and sometimes they do but my memory is awful
Rachel did not ever like to see me sad. If I let tears escape at the hospital she would say " what are you crying for? " I would just day moms being selling. She was so happy most of the time xx