My fiance

I’m new here, I don’t know how much to share but I found my fiance on the floor not breathing 16 months ago.
I called 999 and turned him onto his back, as instructed, to begin CPR.
His arms were stiff, held up, he was freezing cold and there were purple bruises all over him.
I couldn’t save him and ever since I’ve just thought of only I’d found him sooner I might have done.
Since then I’ve gone between numb and can’t stop crying. I thought I was ok but recently it’s really hit me.
Does anyone have any coping strategies?
Laura x


@MissLEH . . l dont know about coping its more taking each hour & step one at a time.
lve found this site really helps as you’re amongst friends who do know what you are going through and will go through.
Despite the emotions, roll with the waves :ocean:, rant rave scream :scream: if you have to, we’ve all been there, we KNOW. Let yourself go on this site, there are plenty of us who can empathise and listen.
Take care xx

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This was the same as me. Finding him in bed a week last Saturday morning in the same way. It was horrific and I feel exactly like you do.

We’re still waiting for the post mortem results since it was so very recent, and that makes it harder to try to gather myself in these early days. The limbo. The unknown. The worry that I didn’t see something was wrong or wasn’t there for him.

I constantly cry that he was in pain. And hope so much that he no longer is and that he’s safe. I can’t get used to seeing the bedroom without him in it.

It’s a horrible feeling and I don’t want to just “exist” from now on without him.

Sending all my best wishes and thoughts.

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Hello MissLEHCox

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community. I’m so sorry to hear about your fiance. There’s no timeline for grief, and it’s normal to feel numb, overwhelmed and tearful as part of your grief.

The community is here for you, and I also wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care, Rhi