My francis

On the 8th of the 10th 2020 it will be 14 months exactly since Francis passed’ he collapsed on the 5th & 3 days later I took him off life support! Francis and I were together 10 years with a four-year-old son Francis Junior.
We were to to get married on her 26th of the 3rd 2020 that would have been our 11th anniversary’ everything was booked the hairdresser the judge interpreter the makeup girl with videographer the photographer. Francis came from a fractured background so did i, what I’m struggling with now is I don’t have any friends I don’t have any contact with my family it’s just Junior & myself. I feel so lost Francis was my soulmate my best friend my lover my protector our protector he was everything. My life now princess of taking junior to school while he’s at school I go back to bed, then I get up up half an hour hour before I pick him up’ going for a shower get ready then come home then get him stripped bath time dinner then we bothgo to bed that’s what my life consists of now. I just feel so lonely angry. Ive not dreamt of francis or felt hym, so that makes it worst. I do things with our son. Im just so lonely & angry.

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@Anji1983, My heart breaks for you. Grieving for your soul mate and trying to bring up your wee one without any support off family and friends must be so hard. What a shame your wedding was cancelled too. I don’t know how you have managed 14mths but you have and although you don’t think it, you have been strong enough to get where you are and you should be so proud of yourself. I know you have been a great mum and Junior has helped you get where you are too. I do think however that you need to get some support and firstly I would go to your GP. Tell them how you feel. They should have local groups and counsellors and point you in their direction. I know with Covid it is made harder but somethings are still happening. It is not a sign of weakness to ask for help, I am sure most of us in this group have at one point or another, I certainly have and it’s been 9mths for me. Use this group to reach out to us all as we are all in the same place here. Try and get out as much as the weather allows as we always feel better after a walk. Sending hugs and love. Shona x

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Hello Anji1983,

Thank you for reaching out on this forum. I am confident you will get help and support from our lovely members. As Shonzie has already said, the members are in a similar place as you are, so well equipped to help and understand. I just want to signpost you to the services we can help you with.

Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: Another good place to get support is Cruse Bereavement, they offer a helpline, email support, and counselling and support groups through their local services: 0808 808 1677,,

Please continue to post on the forum, and also know we are here for you.

Take care. Stay safe,
Online Community Team


Oh Anni, I am not imagine how.hard this is for you x I married in August and lost my husband 4.5 weeks.ago.x we had no idea he.was so I’ll x


Anji, sorry that cut off too soon personally thankful.we.married, it has.been a.great me x It has broken my families.hearts but thankful. Our losses are so great, sometimes hard to consider someoned.else. when I.first came on the site, I struggled with this, it’s like hole.of.misery but, I stuck it out and … the people.o here, all grief stricken, all with a story to tell are mighty x please.keep posting x


Hi Anji1983,
I lost my husband suddenly due to heart attack in May 2020. He was only 39 years old and he was fit. We have a 7 year old boy. Since I lost my love; I work a bit, taking my son to school , picking him up from school, cooking. Everyday I am looking forward to take my antidepresants and go to bed. This is the only time I do not think about my love. Everyday is the same rouitine. I have only once dreamth of Andy and angry with him why he left us. In general i am angry with life and very lonely.xx

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