My heart is shattered

Im 40 and from sussex on june the 2nd 2023 i lost the brightest funniest bravest little brother to Esophegeal cancer, it was bad and so so traumatic, i was there at the end holding his hand, he leaves behind 3 beautiful daughters, in vision im brave strong and pushing forward for his kids and our amazing mum, inside im hollow in absolute pain cant eat sleep or think, i keep replying the absolute horror of his last phew nights on earth. I also realise there is no cure but im bottling it all up… functioning, working being a mum an employee a wife a daughter… Its all crap and unfair


Hello @Saffy81,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your little brother. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,


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Hi Saffy81
I’m so sorry for the loss of your brother…i lost my big brother in march 23 .
Sounds like you have an awful lot going on
Try n look after yourself too…easier said than done
Please take care x


Hi Saffy81

So sorry to hear of your loss, I lost my big sister the day before on 1st June 2023 after a short battle with Cancer I was there too to be there with her when she passed, the last 2 weeks of her life were very traumatic. I totally understand how you feel as my sister was everything to me, I feel very much in shock at losing her. Thinking of you xxx

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